when you want to make a difference.. then subtract

:I

2007-04-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'm bored..

Super uber bored. Walang magawa dito sa bahay. I'm all alone again in the house, tapos makulilim pa sa labas. And I'm starting to be emo again. Ayaw ko panaman sa lahat yung nagiging emo ako. Nakakapanindig balahibo. Kainis. Anyway highway, namimiss ko na cla suzie. Hoy suzie, ikaw ah, may amats ka kagabi, tinulugan mo ata ako, haha. Si elka nag bible study, hanep, tsong, pwede ka na! Haha, Owa, sorry hindi ako makakasama sa inyo sa class party ng Kagits, birthday ni granny, kaya next time na lang. Miss ko na kayo guys, seryoso. ;p Hope we can bond next time.

For the fifth time, nasira nanaman si Caloy. Nakakainis, inaayos nanaman kita, ang Jurassic mo na kasi eh. Pag nagkapera ako, papalitan na kita. Pero ok ang yun Caloy, labs pa rin kita. Hay, hirap mag ayos ng gitara. Bulok na kasi eh.

Nakikinig ako ng Josh Groban ngayon. Tapos mamaya Michael Bubble. Wala lang, pampatulog eh. Super uber boring. Ang sakit pa ng sugat ko, eengot engot naman kasi ako eh, sana kasi di ka na nadadapa. Pero accident prone kasi ako kaya ganito. Dati nga madalas ako mahulog at mapatid kung saan saan. Mga ten times na rin ako nahulog sa bike at ayun, sugat nanaman. Ina. :p

"Sometimes a fool does'nt know he's a fool

Sometimes a dumb he don't know he's a dumb
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really don't mean it at all"

malapit na ang araw ng aking pagkabuhay

...April 22 na..

16 na.

Harhar.

Hindi lahat ng the best ay no. 1

2007-03-31T04:55:00.000-07:00

HEY! Since when pa ba yung last post ko? Ang tagal na talaga. Nakakatamad naman kasi, wala akong napapala sa kaka post, pero dahil summer na at wala nang magawa, edi eto uli ako. Haha.

End of third year life..

Things are'nt still sinking in. Time is really fast, and I never noticed that. Sometimes I can't help but worry because I take for granted time, I miss chulala people, I miss KAGITINGAN, and of course I miss you. ; ) (can be any of you, but I'm only pertaining to one person). Hell days are over, I survived the TRINITY. (Chemistry, Trigonometry and Geometry). Next year, I will patch up a new patch in my uniform, from 3, now to 4(patch power), haha. ; )

I'm gonna miss school of course, but not studying, just the school itself and the people there.
BASTA LAHAT KAYO MAMIMISS KO, YUN NA YON, ONGEI? Pero syempre lalo na ikaw, ikaw at ikaw. ; )

..Magsesemana santa ulit.. Tapos birthday ko na sa 22( ina-advertise ko na).. ayan, wala lang. : )

Time is gold, ghold na ghold- Patty

.Third year life is love. : ) Learn to love it, if not, you'll go nuts.

It's never too late to realize what is important to your life, never too late to FIGHT for it
-The Premonition

end.

fieldtrip

2007-02-02T15:12:00.000-08:00

Fieldtrip kahapon. Super saya. : )) Ang saya mag caving. Tipong lumusong kami lahat sa tubig tapos nag tour dun sa Aguinaldo cave. Yun yung the best e. Tapos may cave dun na talagang zero visible. Tipong kahit na imulat mo yung mata mo ng mulat na mulat, wala kang makikita. Haha, ang patok pa ni kuya Lando kahapon. Ang uto-uto ng kagitingan! wahaha. Tapos sarap din sa ilog. Nag human tug-of-war kami, tapos panalo kami. : )

First time ko mag-rappel. Akala ko sobrang nakakatakot pero hindi naman pala. Masaya sa pakiramdam, syempre for experience din yun. : ) Buti at buhay pa ako ngayon. : )

Elka Angela Evora Gocela, advance happy birthday tsong. Congrats, fifteen ka na! hehe. : )
Love you pare. : 0
- greet niyo siya sa Feb. 6

Kahapon sa bus, may pinpakinggan ako na kanta ng paulit ulit. Yung "Say Goodbye" ni Chris Brown. Ang ganda nun! Sobra. Somewhat, nakaka relate ako. Somewhat lang. : )

- nanuod kami ng amity ville sa bus. ang korny
- anna luz! bibigyan kita ng katol sa June 3, at may libreng posporo para hindi ka ma-dengue!!!!!!

" You, doing that thing you do, breaking my heart into a million pieces
Like you always do
And you, don't MEAN to be CRUEL
You NEVER even knew about the HEARTACHE
I've been going through"
- That Thing you Do
by the Wonders(lss ako)

fair 07

2007-01-27T20:38:00.000-08:00

Tapos na yung fair. aww. Pero sobrang masaya yung fair na to compared to last year. Maikli lang pero memorable. : )

Day1:

So as usual, seremonya nanaman dahil opening ng fair. So ayan, may kadramahan na flaglets, tapos dalawang dove. Haha.

Tapos nun, tambay as usual sa may kubo. Nahuli ako ng dalawang beses sa jailbooth. Una, nag bail ako, tapos nung pangalawa, hindi na dahil may nagpa request sakin, WITHOUT BAIL! wrar! Isang oras din kami nag stay ni elka angela dun sa loob.

Tapos binggo na. Syempre kami ni elka, nag ssoundtrip lang, at ayaw namin mag binggo. Nakakainip kaya yun. Kaya umalis kami at nagpunta sa kubo sa may MMA. Tapos pinapunta ko si Julie at medyo natulog kaming tatlo dun. Tapos dumating si Cza at Ops sa kubo.

TSUBIBO:

First time ko sumakay ng tsubibo. Pero kahit ganun, hindi naman ako nahilo or natakot. : )
Unang tsubibo ko yun, at memorable din yun dahil... Haha, kasi secret ko na yun. Si Bianca at Elka lang nakakaalam kung bakit. Di ba??

Baila:
Wala akong masabi, ang hot ni Timmy. Period.
: )

Day2:

So nagkita kita kami ni Owa at Suzie sa McDo. ( as always) Tapos tricycle. Nakarating kami ng eksaktong alas Diyes! Wahaha! Jahe yun ha, tumakbo kasi kami eh. Tapos tambay again.

A HARD DAY'S NIGHT:

Di ko masyado na enjoy yung show. Nag ssoundtrip lang ako nun eh. Pero tawang tawa ako nun dahil sa KABAYO. Gets niyo na yun. Wakeke. Tapos si Mike Tan dumating. Kumanta siya tapos nag brownout! haha! Inalisan tuloy siya ng mga tao.

Tapos tambay tambay.
Tapos lakad sa field kami ni Julie.
Tapos yun, tapos na.

Tsubibo(round 2)
Kasama ko nag tsubibo sila Joey. Basta out of the blue hinatak nalang nila ako at nilibre nila ako ng ticket.

Round 3:
With suzie and company. : )

BAND-AID:
Ang galing galing : )
Ang hot ni Keane at Yael.
Body heat. Di ba guys? haha.
Astig yung band aid. LUPET.

*you made my fair memorable. Thank you. : )
*8

monday

2007-01-22T00:53:00.000-08:00

Tapos na exams. This week na yung fair. Next week yung fieldtrip ng third year. Tapos english week na. : ) Napaka galing, sinunud sunod kami. Haha. Monday pala ngayon. 1:30 yung labasan kanina pero 3:30 na ko nakauwi. Iniwan ako ng maganda kong bus, luckily, bumalik sila. Salamat bianca, sinamahan mo ko kaninang uwian habang nag hihintay ng sundo. : ) Nakakapagod pala talaga after exams, masarap tuloy matulog ng matulog ng matulog. Haha. Grabe yung mga pinagkwekwentuhan namin ni bianca kanina, about something, haha, db ian? Hehe. Malupit na woah! Hehe. Ang golden rule namin ni bianca: " Alamin ang iyong mga karapatan!" Pero panu kung walang karapatan? Yun yon eh. : )

Kanina pa ako ayos ng ayos sa bulok kong gitara ni si Caloy. Every week ata, nasisira ko yung strings niya. Di ko alam kung sino bang may problema saming dalawa. Sa bagay, limang taon ng nabubulok sakin si Caloy, pero syempre, may sentimental value sakin yun, hehe. ; ) Gusto ko na ng bagong gitara!! Haha..

Kanina din pala, dinala ni Bianca yung scrapbook niya nung second year. Madalas namin sulatan yun nila Mindy, Arielle, Camille, Ian at ako. May mga sulat din don si Cza. : 0.. Hindi ko alam na ganun yung pinagsusulat ko dati, Nakakapag reminsce tuloy. Haha.. ; )

"you're everyone I see
so tell me, do you see me?"
- Everywhere
by Michelle Branch

fool again

2007-01-12T03:44:00.000-08:00

Bakit ba napaka unfair ng mundo? Bakit ba buong kada namin pinupuntirya mo. Kung baga, pag natapos ka sa isa, one down, two to go. Bakit lahat na lang gusto mo angkinin? Bakit hanggang ngayon, sakit ka pa rin sa ulo? Magmula kay suzie, tapos kay elka, tapos sakin? Ano bang problema mo? Bakit ba kahit ayaw kita kagalitan, you're pushing me to do so? Why just let us be? Bakit ba mahilig kang makialam ng buhay ng may buhay? Bakit ba? Masisiraan na ata ako ng bait dahil sa ginagawa mo. Last year ka pa, at isa na lang, bibinggo ka na. Tantanan mo na kada namin please? At please lang, be careful with what you say, because you're putting words on others' mouth. Keep your distance and know your limitations. Dahil ako na mismo nagsasabi sayo, malakas ang ganti ng karma, mga ten times lang naman.

.................................................................................. ; c

Baby, I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret
That you've been hiding
Who's gonna take my place
I should've seen it coming
I should've read the signs
Anyway...I guess it's over
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to knowYou never told me
Baby, you should've called me
When you were lonely
When you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
Too many chances
To show you how much I care.

Lyrics ng FOOL AGAIN.
This might be my last post.
I'm tired.
Goodnight.

cl day

2007-01-10T05:02:00.000-08:00

C.L. Day today, and tomorrow. Walang klase. Wala lahat.

BANGAG.BANGAG.BANGAG habangbuhay. Pahingi ng isang araw na tulog.

Grabe, ang sarap mong tirisin... haha. Dapat langgam ka na lang eh, para madali kang pitik pitikin, tapos tatalsik ka at tatangayin ng hangin, wahaha. ting ting ka naman eh.

Nads, kailangan na natin planuhin yung activities ni ano sa fair. Wahahaha, without bail lahat a.

Pagod na ko. Period.

anu ba sya syo??

***

week ahead

2007-01-09T06:14:00.000-08:00

Unang unang taong umabot ng sweet sixteen niya sa classroom.. Anna! Happy Birthday ate!

" You're getting into my nerves" - ORK

Basta yun na yun. Haha, panira ka naman ng araw eh.

I'm reading Pablo Neruda's poems again, and again, and again. Do you feel the poem? Coz I do. : ) Pamatay yung mga poem niya eh. Haha, kung baga, tagos daw sa puso.

We have a busy week ahead, and I just feel sleeping and dreaming all week. : ) Haha, goodluck for Kagits tomorrow, yung choreo natin, ang ewan, yung voicing, ang ewan din. Still, di parin tayo nag practice. Kahiya hiya talaga, laking tuwa ko pag tsumamba tayo na manalo. : )

" Soup bowl of the Philippines!"
- dapat kasi Salad bowl eh.

" Are you satisfy?"
- satisfied naman po.

"Barok period"
-patay tayo sa Romans niyan pag nagkataon! Period yan ni Leonardo da VINSSSII, este da Vinci pala.

" Monalisa, bakit ka walang kilay?"
- manipis na kilay daw ang uso noon eh.

Haha, Bloopers yan for today. : )

i miss you dear. : )

and papa star, ewan ko sayo.. haha, make my day pare.

sad days..

2007-01-06T15:32:00.000-08:00

Ngayon lang ako ulit nag post. Medyo nakakatamad din kasi pag sulat ng kung ano ano. Hindi rin kasi naging maganda yung mga nakaraang araw ko. Literal na hindi maganda. Ewan ko, pero di na yata ako naubusan ng sad entries sa blog ko. Lagi na lang may hindi maganda. Lagi na ata akong ganito eh. Some things happen for a reason. For a reason daw? Talaga? Eh bakit puro kamalasan ata? Dapat ganito yun eh: Some things really happen because you're jynxed. Yan ang tama para sakin. Hindi ko na kasi makita yung mga reason behind everything that is happening to me. Para kasing sinusunod sunod ako ng malas. I mean, kung bibigyan ako ng sunud sunud na swerte, pagkatapos nun, susunud sunurin naman ako ng malas. But anyway, wala rin naman akong magagawa kung magrereklamo ako. It won't undo everything.

May trip akong kanta ngayon ni Avril Lavigne eh. Yung soundtrack ng Eragon. haha, basta malupit yung lyrics eh. Here are some parts of the song "Keep Holding On".

"You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in "

"Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through "

- I will be always here for you. : )

christmas eve

2006-12-23T20:08:00.000-08:00

Christmas eve na ngayon. Achievement na sakin ang makapag simbang gabi though hindi ko nakumpleto yung nine days. Mahirap talaga gumising ng sobrang aga, tipong para kang lumulutang sa ere sa sobrang pagka antok, thanks to my kape, nakayanan ko ang antok. Eto lang naman ang sacrifice na binigay ko this season kaya I don't have the right to question or anything. Kahit na di ko nararamdaman yung xmas, basta nandyan lahat ng mahal ko, tama na sakin yun. Hindi pa dumadating yung pasko, iniisip ko na yung new year. Nakakakaba mag new year kasi hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari. I don't know what's in store for me. Nakaka excite din naman kahit konti pero di maalis sa kin yung matakot. Ewan ko, napaka futuristic akong tao, masyado kong inaalala yung mga hindi pa dapat alalahanin kaya minsan, nagiging paranoid ako. May pasko pa nga pala. Hindi ako dapat nagmamadali. Gusto kong sulitin yung konting araw ng 2006. haha. Masyado akong seryoso, nakakapanlambot para sa mga nakakabasa nito. Sorry na ha, pag seryoso ako, seryosohan talaga, hehe ; )

Mamaya aalis kami papunta sa tita ko, haha, malupit na kainan nanaman to, haha, hinay hinay lang para sa mga tito kong may altaprasyon, high blood at kung anu anu pa, ganyan talaga pag tumatanda (hahahaha). ; )

Inaantok pa ko ulit, tutulog na lang ako. ULIT

* ian, suzie, owa, mc do commonwealth ok? siguro mga ten or eleven tayo magkita kita ; )*

*8

beykeyshuhnnn

2006-12-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

Bakasyon uli. At parang de'javu nung sembreak, kasi naman, kain tulog nanaman ako, wala na akong ginawa kundi puro ganun. Since wala kaming kasambahay ngayon, ako ang ginagawang atsay(katulong) dito. Taga linis, taga hugas ng pinggan, taga palit ng bed sheets at kung ano ano pa. Kahit papano, masarap parin sa school kasi less ang housework. Pero ayos lang naman, I want to help, mahirap maglinis ng bahay eh, di pwedeng si mama lahat gagawa. Yung mga kapatid ko, kinareer ang simbang gabi. Pero ako, di ko talaga kaya gumising eh, iba na talaga ang may hypersomnia at insomnia. Labooo. Anyway highway, namimiss ko na ang bok bok family. Hindi nanaman ako nakasama sa gimmick nila kasi may "escapade" kami ng mga kapatid ko. Sana next time makasama naman ako. Nga pala, jebe, paggaling ka ha, di kumpleto ang bok bok family pag wala ka, hope you're already fine. : ) Si caloy, ok na ulit, inayos ko na, feel ko malapit na yun maghingalo eh. Gusto ko bumili ng electric guitar this christmas. Hehe. Kami lang ni Papi ang nandito kasi nagpunta somwhere yung mga kapatid ko at si mama. Kaya si Papi ang magluluto ngayon. Haha, tingnan natin kung marunong. : ) Ang saya talaga pag naka UNLIMITXT ka. Parang feeling mo lahat ng tao, naaalala ka, kahit na minsan, gusto lang nila sulitin yung unli kaya sila nagtetext. Pero at least naman, sumasagi ka pa rin sa isip ng iba. Di katulad nung SMART, olats ako, walang nagtetext. Marami nanaman akong chocolates dito sa bahay, at talagang purgang purga na ko. Pero salamat sa lahat ng nagregalo, salamat. : ) Kahit na maliit or malaking bagay yung nabigay niyo, naapreciate ko lahat yun. Thank you. : )

Merry christmas sa lahat. : ) = a "warm hug" to all of you.

Hoy hoy, yung sa 27 ah, MMFF, Mano Po okay? Eastwood. Kita tayong Mc DO

Chicken family, I miss you all.

and you. ; )

intrams

2006-12-16T05:23:00.000-08:00

yung intrams, masaya, nabuo ang chicken family! c ate poj yung pwet, balat c jebe, legs kami ni april, laman c ate anna at ate trixie, c julia at beloi, ewan, si starr yung aso. ahaha, ang saya saya. kala ko di mabubuo yung closeness namin, pero eto na nga at nagsisimula na. Ang saya nung pakiramdam. : )

wala ako sa mood na magmahabang entry, basta, masama pakiramdam ko. at ewan ewan ewan.

chicken is the best policy..

yun lang.

im sick

2006-12-10T04:39:00.000-08:00

I am sick. Akala ko panaman sobrang lakas ko, pero mukang mali a. I'm sick.

Sore throat+ headache= fever

Goodluck sakin bukas. But I don't wanna miss intrams practice, I badly need it.

Arghh. I need medicine. Maybe YOU can be my medicine.

I need to rest now, masama na talaga pakiramdam ko. ; (

im confused

2006-12-05T05:28:00.000-08:00

nakakalito ang mga bagay bagay.

Una, nalilito ako kung anong gagawin ko, sa dami ng quiz at homework bukas, di ko tuloy alam gagawin ko, at uunahin. Intrams practice pa, at C.L. practice, anu ba yan? Tama na!

Super dami nanamang pumapasok na kaanuhan sa utak ko. Nakakasira na talaga ng bait. Ewan ko talaga e. Nakaka inis na mehn.

Ano ba talagang dapat kong asahan? Anu ba talaga? Hold on or let go? Anu kaya ang dapat gawin? Tulungan mo ko para malaman ko na, at para hindi na ako isip ng isip. Please? Hindi ako pwede manghula.

Inaantok na ko, siguro pag tinulog ko na, mahihimasmasan na ko. Still lots of school work to do. Goodnight. ; )

lamig

2006-11-29T22:00:00.000-08:00

Ang lamig ngayon. Tulog lang ako ng tulog.

Malapit ko na nga pala i-delete yung blog ko, siguro in one or two weeks time. Bakit? Wala naman, siguro sawa na rin ako mag blog atbpng. dahilan. Marami narin naman akong nasulat dito, iba ibang happennings at lahat ng eklat noon. Kaya lang, sawa na ko eh. Wala naring thrill yung pag bblog. ; ) Yun lang.

" Kung ayaw, edi wag."

"Hanggang don lang ang kaya, akala ko ay pwede pa"- Pare Ko by E-heads

"Araw araw tayong magdededmahan hanggang sa tayo ay magkabistuhan"- Rocksteddy

Song lines given by Cza. : )

grr

2006-11-29T02:45:00.000-08:00

Badtrip ako. Actually kahapon pa nagsimula eh. Ang daming rason, tapos kanina, tama banamang sapakin ako sa mukha at tamaan pa yung "chest" ko? Anu ba naman yun, tapos hirap na hirap ako mag shoot kanina kaya nakakapagtaka. Sabi nga ni beloi, " handa mo na yung life insurance mo" . Haha, secret nalang namin yun.

Thanks Lord dahil walang klase. But please don't make others suffer because of this typhoon.

Hay nako.

no pain, no gain

2006-11-25T22:25:00.000-08:00

para sa lahat ng namomoblema sa mundo, kung hindi niyo kaya yung problema, hala, punta ka sa bahay at marami tayong pag uusapan.

Pano kasi, katulad mo, may problema din ako. Same with others as well. Kung akala mo napaka saya ng buhay ng walang problema, ba, magisip isip ka.

Kung nahihirapan ka, umiyak ka at mag-isip. Kung ang isang bote ang tanging solusyon, halika sa bahay namin, marami kaming ganun. Pukpok mo sa ulo ng taong dahilan ng problema mo, o kung ikaw yung dahilan ng problema, wag mo naman ipukpok sa sarili mo, instead throw the bottle away until you hear the sound of the breaking bottle. Kasabay ng pagkabasag ng bote, mawawala panandalian lahat ng hinanakit mo sa buhay.

Don't you ever think you are alone. Kahit minsan, hindi kita iniwan, kahit pa buong mundo isumpa ka, kahit na hirap na hirap ka na, I mean, sino bang taong hindi nakakaranas ng hirap di ba? Kaya alam mo, you should widely open your eyes, and you will find me there. Kahit ako yung tipo ng taong lagi na lang iniiwan ng iba, eh hindi naman ako yung tipong nang iiwan. Mas masaya yun di ba? Damayan kung tawagin. It's up to you if you need " someone" but if not, okay lang, maybe you just need time to be alone and think.

; )

caloy

2006-11-24T05:29:00.000-08:00

Meet Caloy, my new companion.

Si caloy, hindi naman tao eh, haha, yan yung bago kong pangalan para sa gitara ko. Para magkaron na rin siya ng identity at hindi ituring na isang typical na bagay na walang sentimental value.

When Caloy and I go together, mahaba habang jamming to, ang kinaibahan nga lang, it's just me and Caloy, walang kasamang iba. Unlike before. (isip) But still it's a lot more fun to play music with only me hearing it. Wala nga namang big deal kung mag-isa lang ako.

Ang gaaaaaaandaaaaa ng PANALANGIN by Moonstar 88, haha, kaya sobrang masaya ako pag naririnig yun, ang galing galing talaga ng APO. ; )

"Hindi tayo hayop, Hindi tayo lugar
Hindi rin tayo tao, Bagay tayo.
BAGAY" ; )

"Hindi ka ba nabibingi? Kanina ka
pa sinisigaw ng puso ko" ;p

" Di ka ba napapagod? Kanina ka pa tumatakbo sa
isip ko" ; p

So long, and goodnight, classes pa bukas. ; )

Life 101

2006-11-17T22:22:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to be serious again and this time, I don't want to talk about enemies, problems, or whatsoever.

What if?

What if life were perfect?

What if you lived in a perfect world of perfect people and perfect possessions, with everyone and everything doing the perfect thing at the perfect time?

What if you had everything you wanted, and only what you wanted, exactly as you wanted, precisely when you wanted it?

What if, after luxururiating in this perfect world for the perfect length of time, you started feeling uneasy about the predictability of the perfection?

What if, after a perfect length of additional time, you began thinking, "There seems to be a lack of risk, adventure and fun in perfection, ' Having it my way' all the time is starting to get dull."

What if, after yet another perfect length of time, you decided, "Perfection is a perfect bore."

What if, at that point in your perfect world, you noticed for the first time a button markes, "Surprise"?

That's the questions that I want to answer all by myself but I know it will take a long time, I just need to be patient. ; p

"A Coward dies a hundred deaths,
a brave man only once...
But then, once is enough
Isn't it?"

- Judge Harry Stone

tsk

2006-11-15T02:24:00.000-08:00

TSK. TSK. TSK.

HINDI AKO NATUTUWA.

DISSAPOINTED NANAMAN AKO.

TAMAAN KA SANA NG BATO SA ULO PARA MAGISING KA NA.

GRABE, AKALA KO TALAGA IBA KA.

PERO YOUR STARTING TO GET INTO MY NERVES FOR THE SECOND TIME.

ISA NA LANG, STRIKE THREE KA NA.

KALA KO TALAGA MAGBABAGO KA NA NG UGALI MO.

BUT I THINK YOU'RE STILL CONFUSED OF WHAT YOU WANT AND ALSO WHAT TO PRIORITIZE.

SUS NAMAN TSONG, WALA NAMANG MAMANHID MANHIDAN EFFECT JAN.

WAKE UP CALL NANAMAN.

intrams practice

2006-11-11T02:22:00.000-08:00

Finally, the practices for the intrams officially started today but the practice was not in good timing, one reason is because its raining and the gym was not available because of the family day.

Before I left my house, I had a little conversation with my parents, and guess what kung ano pinag usapan namin?

Papi: Anak, hinay hinay lang sa paglalaro ah, mabibigla ka.
Mami: Dapat katakut takot na pagwawarm up gawin mo bago ka maglaro
Kor: Pero pa, atat na ko maglaro eh, halos pitong buwan na akong stagnant sa kama na puro pagkain at panunuod yung inaatupag, tumataba na nga ko e.
Papi: O anak, mag dala ka ng Alaksan
Kor: Orayt pa
Mami: Ingat ka ha. Gusto mo tubig?
Kor: No need, thanks. : )

Haha, parang walang tiwala sakin mga magulang ko ah, funny talaga kayo ng malupeeet!

And yung nga, I was not used changing my jogging pants to shorts and packing up so many extra shirts on my bag, and my shoes is kind of weird because the last time I used it was several months ago. So medyo awkward na gamitin kasi matagal ng hindi nasuot.

Me and Jarshh went off to court to do some shooting. Medyo hindi pa ko sanay mag- shoot ulit kaya talagang struggle to the max ako. Madali na rin akong mapagod ngayon dahil kagagaling ko lang sa asthma attack, so it was not easy for me, pero awa ng Diyos, naka keep track din ang loko sa wakas. : )

Namiss ko yung pakiramdam ng naglalaro. Pag nakaka shoot kasi ako, I feel that it is very fulfilling for me, achievement ba. I just realized today that no matter how long I set aside basketball, it will always be the sport that I trully love and babalik balikan ko talaga. : )

Alaksan and salonpas, anyone? :p

not again

2006-11-06T03:22:00.000-08:00

Bakit ba talagang parang nananadya yung tadhana, alam mo yun, okay na eh, tas biglang, okey, ayan nanaman tayo, problema nanaman. Kelan ba ko balak tantanan ng problemang yan? Hello, parang sinusubukan talaga ako. Kung hanggang san kaya ko at kung hanggang san yun pasensiya ko. I know I'm already used in handling problems, whether small or big but the thing is, how long will I suffer? Yan lagi tanong ko sa sarili ko. Inspite of the prayers I offer everyday and doing good things, why does it seems I still can't get rid of these. Parang ang JYNX ko talaga, yun yun eh, JYNX ka Kor, isa kang malaking loser. Kahit na ayaw ko i-down yung sarili ko, wala eh, ganun na yun. It's either I cry and smile later or laugh at the top of my lungs and drown myself to cry. Palagi nalang ganito. Napapaisip tuloy ako kung bakit yung iba walang ka probleproblema. Talaga bang destined ako to have problems like these? Ano ko? Sugo galing sa langit na tintry subuk subukan hanggang sa maging matatag? Hell pare, ayoko naman ng ganito. Minsan talaga mapapasuko ka kahit na sabihin mong, fight lang ng fight. Nakakapagod talaga. Para akong hinahabol ng aso mula bahay namin hanggang SMF. Ganun yung feeling ko. Tumatakbo ako na may kasamang kaba at takot pero walang maka rescue sakin. Jologs na kung jologs pero yun talaga eh, anu bang magagawa ko.

Malas, layuan mo naman ako, kahit ngayon lang. ; z

gimik ng penoy

2006-11-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

Kahapon, pumunta kami ng Penoy sa SMf. Ewan ko kung bakit dun kami pumunta baka dahil kasi wala ng ibang pwede puntahan at yun ang pinaka malapit na mall na pwede tambayan. As usual, nag meet kami nila owa sa Mc Do at nag jeep papuntang SM. Nauna kami kila elka kasi ang bagal bagal nila ni Suzie, may ginawa pa ata. Ang gulo nga magdesisyon ni Elka eh. Ang sabi niya, una, 12 noon dapat kami magkikita, tapos minove niya sa 1 pm. Pangalawa, ang sabi niya, magpapagupit kami, tapos binawi din niya dahil ang paalam niya sa mom niya may band practice siya sa DASC. Pangatlo, sabi niya, mas okay daw na dun nalang kami sa bahay nila Suzie para daw di siya mahuli ng nanay niya kahit na mas gusto namin manuod ng movie. Finally, inayos namin lahat sa SM. At yun nga, napadpad kami sa mga movies at tuluyan ng nanuod ng The Grudge 2. Grabe, ni hindi nga ako natakot eh, nakakagulat lang yung sound effects. Pero parang mga sira sila Owa, nakatakip yung mata, eh di parang sayang din yung binabayad nila kung di nila papanuorin. Haha, tapos pinagtritripan namin ni Suzie si Elka, haha, di ko alam na takot ka pala, haha, kaya ayun, sa sobrang inis niya, bugbog ang inabot namin ni Suzie sa kanya after nung movie. Medyo marami rin kaming nakitang tag Holy. Halos puro lower batch pa. At huling huli namin kayo, kayon ng mga ano niyo, haha. Talaga naman. Si Yuka at GK lang yung nakita naming ka-batch namin na nandon.

After namin nanuod, nag ikot ikot kami dun sa SM. Tas parang wala kaming kabusugan, ayun, napadpad sa Pizza Hut at kumain. Pinagtripan namin yung waitress na kumuha nung order namin kasi yung 1x1 picture niya, andun sa table, kaya nakakatawa talaga. Haha!!

Di pa nagtatapos dun, punta kaming starbucks at bumili ng kape. Si Emma, bumili ng something para sa ate niya at dun kay baby John, grabe, ang bait mo talaga, ala na akong masabi. : )

Grabe, adventure nanaman , at sa monday, pasok nanaman. : (

Finally, finally.

"I've always liked to walk in the rain so no one can see me crying"- Charlie Chaplin

-the funniest man born
-that was the saddest thing he said

sem break

2006-10-30T23:41:00.000-08:00

kakatapos ko lang maligo, haha. Wala lang, boring kasi eh. Gusto ko ng ice cream. Gusto kong lumabas at mag bike. Gusto ko ng fishballs at uminom ng softdrink.

Ansaya pala pag globe ka. Andaming nagtetext at sobrang mas okay siya sa Smart. ( parang hindi ko ginamit yung sim ko na smart eh) Pero nalilito parin ako sa dati kong number at sa ngayon, pano banaman, 5 years kong gamit yun kaya mahirap palitan agad ng iba. haha.

Kuya, ang patok ng mga jokes na binibigay mo sakin. Nakakatawa. ; p

Matutulog na ako***** ulet. haha

random

2006-10-28T19:32:00.000-07:00

" Etong entry na to, ay walang intensyon na mang-away, gusto ko lang mabuksan ng mata ng mga iba jan, hindi taga school yung pinaparinggan ko ha, someone in this neighborhood na kaibigan ko na kailangan ng paringgan ng malupet"

Unang una sa lahat, blog ko ito. Wala kang pakialam kung anuman ang sinusulat ko dito. Nagpaparinig? Ang corny? Ano ba yung nakasulat?What the hell is wrong? Is it with me or with them? I know that we've already cleared things out, but why am I feeling this way?I feel so left out. I think that I don't belong with them anymore.Is it because I am too quiet when I'm with them? Is it because I don't go out with them anymore? Is it because I don't think the way they think? Is it because I'm not close to them anymore? Is it because I'm simply not like them?I don't know, I really don't know.I know that they love me as much as I love them, but why do I feel like a stranger? God help me with this confusion.
Yan diba? Nagtatanong ako. Anong parinig diyan? Confused nga eh, tapos parinig. Narinig mo na ba ang word na "mag-isip"?

I am no longer immature. Hindi na ako bata. Kung alam mo lang ang mga napagdaanan ko, hindi sa nagmamayabang, pero mapapa-nganga ka. Hindi mo alam lahat. Kumbaga sa iceberg, yung nakalabas lang yung alam at nakikita mo, hindi mo pa alam kung gano kalaki yung nakalubog. Hindi mo alam kung paano ako kumilos at mag-isip. Hindi mo pa ako ganun ka-kilala. Wala kang karapatan para husgahan ako.

White and black lang ang available. Walang slots sa gray.

I badly want my own drumset.

Ang tanga mo. Kilala mo na siya, anit hanggang talampakan, loob at labas. Bulag ka ba?! Hindi lang kami ang nagsasabi na tanga ka. Lahat ng tao sa paligid mo, sinasabihan ka na, pero wala parin sayo. Try to open your eyes and see the truth divulge before you. Try to listen too, not only hear. Libre lang yan. Hindi mo kelangang hindi kumain ng isang buong linggo para lang makuha yan. May mapapala ka pa. Hindi ka na iiyak.PLease look at both sides, and see where the light is. Nabubulag ka na sa sobrang dilim.Do you know the difference between conservative and liberated? Matagal na pala 'to, pero ngayon ko lang nalaman. Sige sabihin mo nang conservative ako. Ok lang sakin! Walang problema. Kesa naman sa sobrang liberated ko, to the point of wanting to have a f*** buddy. Hindi na yun joke kasi paulit-ulit nalang. Grabe, kung nag-iba tingin ko at ng mga tao sayo, it's never our fault. (This time, nagpaparinig na talaga ako. Oo, tamaan ka sana. Sana lang.) One more thing, hindi ako conservative, nasobrahan ka lang sa pagka-liberated. Grow up.

We're the spy kids 2! And we are spying on you! Beware... Haha!

Ayaw ko sayo. Halata naman sa tono ng boses ko at kung pano ako makipag-usap at sumagot eh. Ayoko maging rude, pero ano gagawin ko? Eh sa kung ayaw ko nga. I wanted to give you chance, pero hindi ko talaga maisip kung bakit ayaw ko eh. Hindi lang talaga siguro ganun.

Bakit palaging nasa dulo ang taba ng barbecue?

I waited for it, but unfortunately, it never came, and never will it come.I completely understand you. Kung may kasalanan ka man, malamang hindi ganun kalaki yun compared sa kasalanan niya. Naiintindihan kita, naiintindihan ka naming lahat.Naiinis ka sa mga taong katulad mo? Ayos ah. Ano yun, gusto mo ikaw lang yung ganun para star ka? Ok sa alright!

Mukha kang lego. Magsama kayo nun! Sabagay may koneksyon naman kayo eh. Magkakasundo kayo nun, promise! Pareho kayo ng likes pati ng iniisip araw-araw, tuwi-tuwina. (song of a former NSYNC member na nagsolo. I-lista mo!)

hell week

2006-10-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

hell week ngayon, kaya ngayong sem break, all I will do is sleep, sleep, sleep and eat, eat, eat. Dahil sa taeng stress na yan hindi ako nakakakain ng matino dahil tuwing pagharap ko sa pagkain, laging ang nasa utak ko, test, test, test. Grade, grade, grade, at projectssssss with many s.

Usually pagkatapos ng exams gumigimmik ako pero this time, I went home early and alone. Sila elka at suzie kasi, magpupuntang eastwood eh ako naman di pwede dahil nga inaatake ako ng asthma ngayon. Mahirap huminga tapos maririnig mo sa lungs mo yung weezing. Hihinga ako through the mouth para magasagap ng hangin dahil di ako makahinga sa ilong dahil naman sa sipon. Nahirapan tuloy ako nung test. Dapat nga, makiki fair kami sa miriam ngayon at manonood ng mga banda mamayang gabi, pero talagang strict si papi, di ako pinayagan, and again, dahil nga may sakit ako. ; (

Well, yung exams, hindi siya naging madali lalo na ang.. CHEM! Asar talaga yun, di na ko aasa na okay yung grade ko dun, hayuff!

Hoy erika, anu ba? Papagupit pa ba tayo ngayon o hindi?

Cge, babu muna, papahinga pa ko. : )

stress again

2006-10-17T04:16:00.000-07:00

Normal day ngayon, wala namang masyadong nangyari, and as usual, hectic at stressful pa rin, kelan ba hindi?

So yun, okay naman kaya lang test days na next week at nabigay na yung test schedule pero kahit anong gawin kong pagmmatch ng mga subjects, lahat mahirap parin, we all have no choice than to study well. Meron pang kalokohang pahabol sa Sabado, test day din yun, talaga naman, walang patawad. ;p Wish ko lang tapos na yung highschool at gumraduate na ko, ayoko na talaga. ; z

As usual, nag-aalburoto nanaman si mama dahil di nanaman nag-aaral ang pinaka masunurin kong kapatid sa lahat, si Nikko, aba, ultimo exams na nila bukas, parang lumulutang pa sa buwan, ayaw mag-aral, kaya tuloy pati ako nadadamay, bakit daw ako nanonood ng T.V.? Eh, hello, di kaya ako mabubuhay ng walang T.V. tsaka sandali lang naman, namamahinga lang, kasi bagong sabak nanaman ako bukas para sa isa pang araw. : )

Hindi ko alam pero kanina, kain ako ng kain, una, nag banana conyelo ako. Basta, yun ba yung tawag dun? Basta yun na yun, tapos, nag carbonara ako at uminom ng walang kamatayang C2 lemon. Sa C2 lemon nauubos allowance ko sa isang araw. Nakaka tatlo ata ako or apat, ewan, basta nakaka adik yun. ;p

Tapos kami ni elks, kumakanta kami ng "When you say noting at all" ni Ronan Keating, tas ginagaya namin kung pano siya kumakanta, as in with the patilya pare, and halos kainin na yung mic. Di ba ganun siya? Pati si Yael Yuzon, ginagaya namin, yung mala butas ng kanal yung buka nung bibig niya, tas super exaggerated. haha, grabe, tawang tawa. : p. Di rin namin pinalagpas yung pag-spoof nung "My Humps" na ginawa ni Michael V. na "Anghang"! Grabe! haha, pati yung panahon pa ng nineteen forgotten na kanta, yung "Tie a Yellow Ribbon on the Old oak tree" na mala Frank Sinatra namin kinanta, with the matching mala ipis voice sa hulihan, di ba Elka?

Wala, haha, nakakatuwa lang yung araw na to. Naiintriga ako. Pero sana naman, wag kang gumawa ng chismis, kasi hindi maganda para sa isang dalaginding na kagaya mo ang pagiging masyadong ma-BOKA. Yun lang.

koolt 34

2006-10-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

kakatapos lang ng pag-shoot namin ng TVC. nakakapagod talaga! hehe. Super nakakaantok talaga ngayon, siguro dahil sa sobrang daming ginawa. Eto na talaga, Bianca, ang gwapo niya pala pag inayusan, grabe, hottie!! Naaliw na talaga ako sakanya. London bridge, don't fall down. That someone keeps me going everyday, inspiration. Someone to look forward to.

Ang ganda ng song na "Gallery" ni Mario Vasquez, super ganda ng voice niya, tapos super ang ganda nung message nung song, although in Spanish nga lang yung ibang parts nung kanta. Super sampung beses ko ata pinatugtog yun kanina. Sobrang nakaka-adik. Haha, waw talaga. " I can't take seeing you with him, coz I know exactly what you need." Yun yung favorite lines nung song, o my goodness talaga. Tas habang pinapakinggan ko yun, sobrang nag dday-dream ako tungkol sakanya, anlakas ng tama. Kanina nga ka-akbay ko yung eh, haha! GARRRR.. tama na talaga to, it's too much. Words are just coming out of my mouth without me noticing it. My hands are typing words without me knowing it. Pero erase erase, ayoko na talaga....ayaw pero paulit ulit eh. Nakakaloko talaga!

waahhh..stop stop stop... but whatever I do, London Bridge is continously falling down, falling down. : )

im..

2006-10-13T03:16:00.000-07:00

At sa hinaba haba ng mga araw, i've realized one thing. I'M already..

Ganito kasi yun eh, I'm really confused when I see that person, I always tell myself that it's nothing, but I always find myself looking for that someone, and I even find myself looking at that someone without me noticing it. Niyare ako nung retreat. Bianca, alam kong alam mo to, please satin na lang. I don't even know how I will avoid that feeling. Kasi mahirap na talaga pag natuluyan. At ayoko mangyari yun. Ngayon lang ako ulit nag- post about serious matters like this. Delikado at nangnganib. Lagi nalang kasi ako itinatadhanang mapalapit sa kanya, para bang everything I do, lagi siyang involved. Sa, yun, sa ganun at kung ano ano pa. Garrr bianca, papano na?

Pano naman kasi, ang tao ay naiinip din di ba? Kaya tuloy nabaling sa iba. Nakakahingal humawak sa sanga ng puno tapos hindi ka naman hinahatak pataas. Ayan, nalaglag at nasalo ng iba. Hay bianca, pano na?

i won't cry

2006-10-09T04:05:00.000-07:00

Oh what can I say...
You came and got things today,I packed your car, I watched you drive away.
I cried so many tears that day,It burnt my face, it felt like acid rain.
I know I can't keep lying to myself,
I said I'd be content with someone else,
I know I never have to face the pain, baby baby,
Chorus:
I won't cry no more,
I won't drown in my tears
I won't die no more,
I've got over my fears
And I'm moving on, girl I know what to do.
Cause I'm beter off wihtout you, and we both know that it's true.

Well,It's going to take a little, to stick in my mind,the fact you're gone for good.
Cause when you said you're leaving me, I heard it before,I never really you would.
Maybe I should glad that you gone away.
I know the pain would not be here to stay
If I could only fool myself maybe, baby,
I won't cry no more,
I won't drown in my tears
I won't die no more,
I've got over my fears
And I'm moving on, girl I know what to do.
Cause I'm beter off wihtout you, and we both know that it's true.
That I won't cry, I'm moving on.
Well, well.I know it's hurt enough, to fall in and out of love,
But when something is gone, to keep holding on,Will only break your heart.
So I won't play the fool, by begging you to stay.
I wanna keep it inside, til you're out of sight,
Maybe then wait,
I won't cry no more,
I won't drown in my tears
I won't die no more,
I've got over my fears
And I'm moving on, girl I know what to do.
Cause I'm beter off wihtout you, and we both know that it's true.
I won't cry no more,
I won't drown in my tears
I won't die no more,
I've got over my fears
And I'm moving on, girl I know what to do.
Cause I'm beter off wihtout you, and we both know that it's true.
And we both know we're through.

That's the song of Profyle. Sa Wave, lagi yan pinapatugtog, wala lang, ang ganda eh. hehe

oh my goodness

2006-10-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

pagkatapos ko pumunta ng school kahapon for investi, I went home to sleep for my next lakad, at ayun, ang soiree.

First time ko palang mag-soiree, I am always invited to soirees but I always hesitate because I always think there are "malandi" girls. But not this time, kasi ang babait ng Kagits, at mahal ko na sila! : ) Hindi nakaka-o.p. pag sila yung kasama mo, and I always find home with them.

The soiree was fun, and the guys from Ateneo are kind and gentleman. Makukulit din sila kagaya nalang ng kapitbahay kong si Andrew who was there last night, Andrew, di ko alam na yun pala section mo, at di ko alam na ang astig mo pala sumayaw, showdown uli kayo ni Kazzi. Grabe, ang hottiezz ni Kazzi kahapon, ang galing nia sumayaw, nag showdown sila ni Andrew kahapon, Kazzi, dadami nanaman ang mga first year na titingin sa yo. Patay. ; p

Masyado nang late dumating yung pagkain kaya dinaan nalang namin sa interaction. We grouped ouselves to 2. 2 girls and 2 boys. The girls will sit beside the 2 boys. Ayun, mag-uusap tungkol sa isa't isa. To know one another and after a certain time, the boys will transfer to another set of girls para lahat makapag-usap. Naglaro lang ng games na iba iba. Pero actually masaya. May guy dun na super kulit, pero cute siya ha. Pati yung isa na, basta, di ba SARA? : ) hehe. So ang saya talaga nun. Medyo sumakit nga lang ulo dahil siguro sa pagod kaya humingi pa ko ng biogesic kay Ails. Tapos yun, nagbaraha kami, naglaro ng Pusoy Dos, Bluff at one two three pass. Haha. Ang kulit talaga ni Miguel kahapon, take note, English speaking tong taong to, kaya dinugo ako sa kaka- English. Dapat salinan na ko ng dugo ni Jars eh, para gumaling ako mag english. Pero bago ako umuwi, nagkaron ako ng mild sprain, nakuha ko to nung nag tatakbuhan kami kahapon. From now on, I won't hate soirees anymore. : )

Grabe, may crush na ko sa wakas. Sa wakas meron narin pagkatapos ng matagal na panahon. Sana magkita ulit kami, di ba Sara, sana makita pa natin yung sila ano.. haha. : )

practicum

2006-10-05T02:53:00.000-07:00

Practicum namin kanina, sold out naman. Napagod ako kakahanap ng batang pwedeng lokohin este pagbentahan ng mga ek ek namin. Nag "bear fruit" naman lahat ng efforts namin. Okay yung kinalabasan. Sa sobrang pagod, inantok ako pano naman kasi alas kwatro palang gising na ko, kaya feeling ko ang" high" ko. Bangag. Kaya super uber antok ko kaninang pinoy at geom pero buti nalang nagpapatawa si mrs. Dino kaya kahit konti, nagising ako.

So yun nga di ba, Pagkatapos ng Practicum, nag-usap yung class tungkol sa soiree, pinag iisipan ko pa kung pupunta pa ko dun kasi marami talaga akong gagawin sa Saturday pero sayang naman kung hindi ako pupunta, sayang yung bonding ng klase at sayang, yung pagkain. Haha. Alam ko na rin yung name ng ka-interaction ko at ni Anna, mag shshare kami sa isa. Hehe.

Super uber dami ring quizzes bukas, at ewan ko na lang kung ano nanamang mangyayari sakin, magkaka eye bugs kaya ako o pimples bukas, ewan , tingnan nalang natin, wag lang sanang sabay di ba? ang SAKLAP naman nun.

Nung CL namin, may ginawa kaming activity. Pinagawan kami ni Ms. ng tatlong sheet ng papers and then nilagyan namin ng pangalan namin yun. Ilalagay dun sa tatlong papers yung mga pinaka importante sa yo sa ngayon. Yung nilagay ko sa paper one, FAMILY, tas sa second, STUDIES, third, yung Friends. Ang sabi ni Ms. yung pangatlong paper, kung gusto daw namin, i-share namin sa iba, kaya ko binigay yung paper ko sa katabi ko. Kasi friends yun eh. Tapos yung unang papel, ibibigay namin kay ms. Ang sabi niya: " Girls, are you willing to tear the first paper?". So nag react ako na WAG. Pagkatapos sabi ni Ms. : " Then decide what you want me to do, tear this paper or give me the second paper in exchange of the first". Siyempre ako, yung una na yung kukunin ko. Wala, marami lang akong naisip kanina. Hanggang san mo kaya i-give up ang mga bagay-bagay para sa isa lang na bagay na gusto mo. You can't have it all. Hindi sa lahat ng oras masaya ka. Hindi sa lahat ng oras sayo lahat ng swerte sa mundo. So the question is, " Are you the person who's ready to do everything for the sake of the thing/persons important to you?" or " Are you scared and coward because you are afraid to let go and fight for the things that are more essential?". Ganun lang yun eh. Discern.

: ) that's not the last time that I will do it. Expect more.

panaginip ni cel

2006-10-02T02:13:00.000-07:00

Grabe. Cel, andami mong kalokohan.

Bakit? Tama banaman kasing nanaginip si Cel na meron daw siyang sundalong boyfriend, take note, imported, galing England, kaya lang ang masaklap, kamukhang kamukha ko yung bf niya sa panaginip niya! Aba naman, kelan ba ako nagmukhang taga- England, at kelan pa ako naging sundalo???? Grabe ha, kaya tinatawag niya na kong "boyfriend" buong araw. Nice ha, grabe Cel, loko ka talaga.

OO nga at ang tagal ng binakasyon namin, kaya nga lang pagbalik naman namin, tambak ang quizzes na dapat last week pa. But everything went fine, all the quizzes were okay, so far, wala talagang madugong madugo. This day was really a hot day. I din't get a chance to eat lunch because of the long line in the accounting office. Kailangan ko mag bayad ng tuition, medyo matagal din ako nagantay, so all I ate was just a little piece of sandwich galing kay Czy at isang bote ng One. Busog na ko dun. At bumaba ang third and fourth year para sa surprise kay Mrs. Dino. Ang n.r. ko pa kanina, nag-aaral ako para sa A.P. long test at para sa C.L. na talagang literal na mahahabang test. Nakakapagod buong araw, nagsayaw sayaw pa kami sa P.E., ayaw na ayaw ko pamandin na sumasayaw, pano kasi parehas na kaliwa yung paa ko, wala talaga akong pag-asa pagdating sa pagsasayaw. ; p

As usual, marami ding quizzes bukas. At goodluck nalang sakin bukas, di bale, yakang yaka ko to!
*Elka, di pa natin tapos i- furnish yung kanta! Pano na tayo niyan, baka batuhin tayo ng kamatis ni Ate Nica pag pangit yung napakita natin sa Wednesday, practice tayo ha!

Yun muna ngayon, tutulog pa ako. At kakain. At mag-aaral(weh), pero seryoso, oo nga. : )

bagyo

2006-10-01T05:29:00.000-07:00

Nga pala. Sapi ni papsi, may bago daw na bagyo. Bagyong Neneng daw ang pangalan, at ngayon, umuulan na. What will I expect from this typhoon? Malakas kaya o hindi?

So tomorrow back to school ulit ako. At ang pinaka ayoko sa lahat, yung ang tagal tagal mong nagbakasyon tas babalik ka sa reality ulit. Hangover ba. So yun, at ayaw ko din mag p.e. class dahil ayoko magsayaw.

Nga pala, yung practicum namin, sometime this week na, kaya if you have time, tingnan niyo kami sa podium, mag bebenta kami ng ka-eklabuhan. Kaya yun. Para naman kumita kami, maraming maganda dun, hehe. Kung mahilig ka sa mga accessories, sa store ka na namin bumili. : )

yek, nag endorse eh.

So yun nga. : Nakakaintriga yung sinabi mo, binibitin mo ko eh. Anu ba talaga yun?

You always complete my day, kahit di kita nakikita or nakakausap, still, you make my day special. Thank you for that. : ) But I would appreciate more if we get a chance to talk. It's been a while since we've done that and I like you to know that I miss that times. Sana talaga. : )

band

2006-09-30T03:32:00.000-07:00

Ayun, nakagawa kami at nabuo na namin yung kanta. Ok naman yung kinalabasan, so ayun, masaya. Kakarating ko lang galing bahay nila elka. Paguwi, sabay na kami ni erika. Tas punta kaming mcdo, para nga kaming nag date eh, hehe! So yun, mejo napasarap yung kwentuhan, tas umulan, and then dumating na yung yaya niya para sunduin na siya. So umuwi na ko.

Nakakapagod. Haha. May pagka weird din tng araw na to'. Alam kong may dapat akong malaman na hindi ko lang alam kung ano. Ganito kasi ako lagi, may na- vvibes akong something. At di ako titigil hangga't di ko nalalaman yun. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung yung dapat kong malaman eh makakapekto sakin. Pero kahit anuman yun, kailangan ko paring malaman. Alam ko kasing DAPAT eh.

Kanina, nagbabasa ako ng Chicken Soup for Teenage Soul at yun, mejo naiyak talaga ako. Lalo na dun sa part na Death and dying. Masyado akong na-carried away. : (

Here are some of the quotes that I encountered today that struck me most:

"For you and me, today is all we have, tomorrow is a mirage that may never become a reality"

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same"

"Never apologize for showing feelings. Remember that when you do, apologize for truth."

at ang pinaka nakaka- tama..

"Don't ever slam a door, you may want to go back"

ibig sabihin, wag na wag kang mag-miss ng mga opportunities/ pagkakataon lalong lalo na ang pagsabi ng " mahal kita" sa mga mahal mo dahil baka di na nila to' marinig kahit kailan, at ikaw, baka pagsisihan pa.

long weekend

2006-09-29T03:07:00.000-07:00

Long weekend ngayon. Thursday na suspend yung klase, and Friday ngayon, suspended ulit, tas bukas, Sabado, grabe, ang galing, ang haaaaaba ng weekend. Tama lang to, kasi pangbawi sa mga sleepless nights. Di ba Juniors? Hay nako, grabe. hehe.

Masyadong malakas ang hangin kahapon, tinitingnan ko nga yung bubongan ng kapitbahay naming Koreano, nababaklas na yung roof nila, sabay, tawa ako, totally, lumipad na nga! haha. Nakakatakot din yung sound ng wind. Feel na feel ko yung pagbuga ng hangin kahapon, talagang tatangayin ka papalayo. : )

Nag brownout din kahapon, buti na nga lang kami, limang oras lang binrownout, eh yung iba, magdamag walang ilaw, kawawa naman. At nako, yung internet connection, ngayon lang ule gumana dahil sa bagyo, Signal no. 3, waw grabe.

Sobrang pagpapahinga ginagawa ko ngayon, kain, tulog, kain, tulog, nuod t.v., kain nanaman, buhay bab-oy, haha. :p

Kailangan ko ng kausap ngayon, boring na eh. Ang tagal ko ng di nag tetelebabad, siguro mga 7 months na, di na rin ako pala-text ng mga tao ngayon, in short, wala talaga akong kinakausap sa telepono. Sabi nga sa retreat, " the shallowest part of the 5 communication methods is cliche" at ganyan ako lagi ngayon. Panay ganito:

Kor: Oi musta?
Kausap ni Kor: Ok lang naman
Kor: ah okay

sabay alis..

Sorry ha, pagpasensyahan niyo na kung ang tipid ko magsalita, hindi na kasi ako sanay ng sobrang makwento, dahil nga wala naman akong ikukwento. Tsaka di ko talaga nature ang pagiging ma-boka, senxa na, sa ibang araw siguro, by chance. : )

Confused? Don't worry, I'll take away the confusion in you. : )

stress

2006-09-27T03:32:00.000-07:00

Parang nakasakay ako ngayon sa chubibo, hilong hilo dahil walang magawa. Stress, yun ang salarin ng lahat ng to. Kulang ako lagi sa tulog, tas everyday, na iinis na ako sa deadlines, quizzes dito, project don, balitaan pa kanina. Kagagaling ko lang ng retreat, eto agad yung sumalubong sakin. Pimples. Yun ang dale, nanganganib ako magkaron nun. Halos di ako makakain kakaisip ng school matters, hindi ko na masyado nabibigyang time yung sarili ko at yung iba. Minsan ng di ako makangiti, sobrang seryoso na para bang namatayan. Haha, pero seryoso, ganun nararamdaman ko ngayon. Yung chem pahirap ng pahirap. I can still manage pero mahirap mag maintain eh. I also need to make a song for our band kung hindi lagot kami kay ate nikka. Baka bumaba yung grade namin niyan. Eh since di ako inspired, hirap ako gumawa ng kanta para sa CUPNEYMANSI( pangalan namin ng banda yan). Sobrang dami kong ginagawa, pero somehow okay din, at least I keep myself busy, kaysa naman tumunganga ako sa isang tabi.

Okay naman ang araw ngayon, maulan, at walang pasok bukas, pero kahit ganun, there are things that keep me feel lonesome. I don't know why? What happened, bakit ganun na lang yun, parang walang nakikita at nararamdaman, sinasabi ko na baka sa susunod na araw, baka ganun naman at maging ayos, pero nasasayang yung bawat araw sa paghihintay, malay ko ba kung wala na pala akong hihintayin. . . .

after ng

2006-09-25T03:13:00.000-07:00

after nung retreat, may something.

Hindi ko alam, hindi pwede, at hinding hindi, may feeling ako na parang totoo na feeling ko lang. Ewan, magulo e, wag, di pwede, pero bakit ang lakas ng kalabog.. bog..bog, hindi ko ma explain yung happiness pag, ayun, after lang nung retreat, i think, i think. No, don't. Ngayon ko lang ulit to naramdaman, and i don't know bakit yun pa? Anung meron dun? Sa bagay, nandun na lahat eh, pero talagang dinedeny ko lang yun, pero bakit hinahanap. Para bang you long for something, and naturally, it shows, napaka evident na. Yung mga panakaw na tingin, yun yung namiss ko, and I do not know if na-amaze lang ako, o may ano. Nung retreat, bago ako matulog bigla ko yun maiisip tapos pag pumikit ako, nakikita ko naman, grabe, I just can't explain this and I don't know how long will it take. Dahil delikado pag lagi kong hinanap, baka ma London Bridge na, Falling down, falling down. Garrrrr...

dugdugdugdug.

retreat

2006-09-22T05:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Korina,

Happy reco ha, hehe, bukas na yun, sana ma-enjoy mo at marami kang matutunan, sana makatulog ka ng mahimbing, sana kung ano man yung mga naging problema mo these days, once and for all, makalimutan mo muna yun, retreat is the time for God. I hope you wouldn't be distracted by these things. You should sing well Josh Groban's "You raise me up" because anyway, it's for your parents and it's once in a lifetime that you express your gratitude to them. You'll be out for two days and I know you will be missing your blog. Pero sana nga, wag ka na mag-isip ng iba pang bagay maliban sa retreat, retreat to, at walang pwedeng sumagabal sayo. It'sbetween you and God. Sana yung mga kasalanan mo, mabago mo na at yung mga mali mo, maituwid mo na, I hope it will be a time that you reflect about yourself so that when you go out of the retreat house, you will be better and stronger. This will be your second to the last retreat and it will be better to give your best shot, I hope your good traits will never change and just change those things that you think you should be changing like bad habits, controling your temper and hurting other people. Sana rin wag kang magkamali bukas sa gagawin mo, God bless, and may you have a great and memorable retreat.

*****************************************************************************

confused

2006-09-21T02:59:00.000-07:00

Nalilito na ako. Badtrip pa ko ngayong pag-uwi, lagi na lang si nikko yung kinakampihan ni mama kahit na mali siya. Di porket bata yun at bunso siya, parati nalang siya yung tama, eh hello, 12 years old na kaya yun, kung dati na ttake ko pa yung ginagawa nila, ngayon, hindi na. Palibasa spoiled eh. Minsan nga iniisip ko kung ano ba talagang papel ko sa bahay na to? Minsan, pakiramdam ko, ok lang pero madalas, hindi. Naman, sa school nga ni hindi ako makangiti ng totoo tas pati ba naman sa bahay? Anu banamang klase yan. Lahat naman ng hilingin nila ginagawa ko, pero bakit para paring kulang? Eh kulang nalang ipapako ko sarili ko sa krus e.

At kanina, softball game, nakita ko yung friend ko sa mc, maglalaro din siya. Sus, hamak na plastic din yun eh, lahat nalang ng akala ko kaibigan ko, mga plastic pala. Di ko tuloy alam ngayon kung sino yung totoo, tas yung isa ko pang ka barkada, magulo rin, sumasama lang sakin pag kailangan ako pero pag nanjan na yung mga "bago" eh nagmumukha akong props pag kasama siya.

At di pa nagtatapos jan. Ano ba talaga ako sayo? Ha? Kasi naman eh, dapat kasi wag na akong mag-isip kasi halata namang isa nanaman akong taong daan ng daan pero invisible. Ganun yon.

Buhay nga naman, may quiz pa sa Geom, hinaluan pa ako ng mga ganitong kagandang happening, wow ha, nakaka-amaze.

yey

2006-09-20T04:02:00.000-07:00

Ahmahged. Parang panaginip lang. Panalo kami, yes, siguradong proud si mommy I. sa amin. First time lang niya kami masamahan sa mga contest dahil lagi siyang busy. Ngayon lang talaga. Blessing in disguise dahil kung kailan pa siya nanuod, dun kami nanalo. You keep our spirits high mommy I! Para sa yo to! Amen? Amen! yeh!

At last nagbunga din yung paghihirap ni Kaye at Cel. Sorry Kaye, kung di kami noon nag cooperate, alam ko yung feeling na di pinapakinggan but we learned our lesson, at maganda rin naman ang kinalabasan. Astig ka Kaye, at si Cel, na kahit maga ang ngipin, tuloy parin, astig kayo!

Kanina, nanginginig yung kamay ko habang nag pplay, sobrang akala ko, magkakamali ako, buti na lang hindi kung hindi, tsk tsk, haha. Would you ever imagine that? First time natin nanalo as a class. Everyone participated well and gave their best kaya tayo nanalo. Pero kahit na ganun, astig pa rin ang Juniors, magaganda lahat nung composition, Galing. : )

Everything goes back to normal tomorrow, and I hate it. Garrr.

Naguguluhan nanaman ako. ANO BA TALAGA? everytime I.... my.... beats like its gonna burst. : )

pablo neruda

2006-09-18T03:28:00.000-07:00

Before ms. Platon shared with us this morning the popular poems of pablo neruda, i am already familiar with him and since ms. platon refreshed my mind about pablo neruda again, I just want to post one of pablo neruda's greatest poems, and I also like this one. You can dedicate this to your special someone or to a friend whom you are not in good terms with. Wala lang. Maganda, akmang akma sa mood ko, malungkot. haha.

Saddest Poem

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."
The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her.
To feel that I've lost her.
To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.
What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.
That's all. Far away, someone sings.
Far away.My soul is lost without her.
As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.
The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.
I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's. She will be someone else's.
As she oncebelonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.
Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,my soul is lost without her.
Although this may be the last pain she causes me,and this may be the last poem I write for her.

see, ganda di ba, nevermind kung di ka nagandahan, pero busog na busog sa meaning yung poem. In short, maganda. yun lang. : )

yeyes

2006-09-17T04:09:00.000-07:00

At ngayon, ay Linggo ng gabi, bukas, anak ng kambing, pasok ulet.

Sus naman, pasok ulit, anu banaman yan, masyado akong nabitin sa two day weekend. Bakit kasi di nalang gawin na three days di ba? Buti pa yung kolehiyo, minsan may isa silang bakanteng day. Yung kuya ko madaya, araw-araw silang half-day, afternoon pa yung pasok nila pero gabi na nga lang siya umuuwi. Anyhoo, yun, nanuod lang kami kahapon ng The Devil Wears Prada nila Wilma, Maris, Suzie at ako. Dapat nga kasama namin sila Bianca at Cza eh, ang kaso si Cza, may iba yatang katagpo, eto namang si Ian, sinusumpong ng hika, at yun, masama pakiramdam niya. Pagod na pagod ako at sa sobrang pagod ko, pagdating ko sa bahay, tulog ako at di na nag dinner. Medyo mahina nga appetite ko these days, nakakatawa nga ako eh, sobra. Kahit pa gutom na gutom ako, ewan ko, di pa rin ako makakain. Hay nako, di nanaman ako makakatulog ng mahaba, pagod nanaman me. As always.

Hindi sa pagmamayabang sa ibang sections sa third year pero, ang ganda nung composition ng kanta namin, wala lang, walang pikunan ah, alam ko na sasabihin niyo, na mas maganda yung inyo, okay lang yun, kanya kanyang opinyon lang ah. ahehehe. Habang practice kahapon, ang luppet nung boses ni Kaye, soprano pamandin ako, at hinding hindi, hinding hindi ko ma-reach. Di naman kasi ako gifted pagdating jan eh. Sus. Pero swear, ganda nung amin.(o, baka batukan niyo na ko niyan). haha

You're very very lost. Do you want me to take you back where you came from. I'm very willing to. Sana ayusin mo ugali mo. Hindi na ako natutuwa. Be the old "you" para naman matuwa ako sayo.(Hint, kabarkada ko to, eto na ha, napaka specific na.)

o sige na, nangangamoy na ang pagkain, next time ule!

ewan

2006-09-15T05:50:00.000-07:00

nung mga nakaraang araw, lagi na lang puro malulungkot na bagay yung naririnig niyo sakin, siguro sa utak niya,"ano ba tong taong to, parang walang kasiyahang kahit katiting sa buhay niya". Kahit ako minsan sinasabi ko yan. Kung bakit di ko makita yung bright side ng buhay. Sa totoo lang, oo, malungkot ako, at di ko kinahihiya yun, pero kahit papano,meron parin akong dapat ipagsaya.. buti nalang..

1. Kaninang dissmisal, andun si Suzie, Maris at Bianca para mailabas ko sama ng loob ko. Salamat ah, pagkatapos nating mag-usap, pakiramdam ko, bago akong tao ulit. Ang gaan ng pakiramdam. Salamat.

2. Nakakain ako ng sangkaterbang fishballs na matagal ko ng pinapangarap makatikim ulit.

3. Pinatawa ako ni Bob Ong sa mga kwela niyang libro.

4. Nanaginip ako kaninang hapon ng maganda ganda.

5. Andyan pa si mama, si papa.

6. Nakatungtong ako ng third year kahit mahirap sa Holy.

7. Nakakatanggap pa rin ako ng isangdaang piso bilang allowance everyday.

8. Nakakainom parin ako ng C2 yellow tea.

9. Masarap pa rin ang hotdog na binibenta sa school.

10. Andyan pa si Emma at Owa na pinapatawa ako ng malupit. (teka teka, parang may missing akong kabarkada na wala pa sa listahan ko, aba hoy, magising ka na, nagtatampo ako sayo. Wake up call kung sakaling di mo alam na sinasaktan mo na ako.)

11. Nakakapag misa pa ako every Sunday.

12. Nakakakain ako ng tatlong meals sa isang araw, minsan nga, five times eh.

13. Andyan ang gitara ko na alive n' kiking pa kahit apat na taon na siya. Nakakarelease ng stress tuwing nap-play ko siya.

14. Kumpleto pa ang dalawa kong kamay at may lima pang daliri sa bawat kamay para gamitin sa pagtugtog.

15. At ang panghuli, alam kong may nakikinig parin sakin. Sa prayers ko at sa pagddrama ko na minsan wala namang kabuluhan. GOD. IKAW YUN.
* alam kong di ako todo deboto at mala-madre ang kabanalan, pero mahal ko at naaapreciate ko SIYA, at alam kong aalisin niya ko sa ganitong kagulong buhay, kelangan ko lang ng konting lakas pa.

alam ko, oo alam ko, you don't need to say sorry, walang dapat sisihin, okay?

minamalas

2006-09-13T03:44:00.000-07:00

Parang nung mga nakaraang araw, dun ko nararanasan malasin, parang walang nangyayaring maganda. Sunod-sunod yung mga kamalasan ko. At kahit sino, kahit ikaw mismo, hindi ako natulungan. Yung mga kaibigan ko, hindi ko alam kung pano sila hahagilapin pag kailangan ko, yung mga mahal ko sa buhay, iniiwan na ko. Sa school, lagi na lang ako malungkot at laging may hindi magandang nangyayari. Pag nasa bahay ako, minsan pakiramdam ko out of place ako dito dahil siguro middle child ako at parang K.S.P ako. Lahat na lang kayo lumalayo. Para bang pakiramdam ko, pasan ko lahat ng hirap na to mag-isa. Bakit hindi ko manlang maramdaman yung malasakit na dati niyong pinapakita? Ano bang ginawa kong mali para isa-isa kayong mawala. Kaya hindi ko magawang ngumiti dahil lahat ng ngiting pinapakita ko, lahat peke. sinungaling. barbero. pilit. Wala ba akong karapatan maging masaya kagaya ng ibang taong nakikita ko. Nagpakabait ako, tuwing kailangan niyo ako, lagi akong to the rescue, pero ngayong ako yung nangangailangan, bakit wala manlang dumadamay sakin. Minsan iniisip ko kung sinumpa ba ko o ano. Bakit yung mga taong inakala ko na magiging andiyan pag kailangan ko, hindi manlang nagpaparamdam. Bakit kailangan niyo ako iwanan ng ganito ka desperado, bakit sa tuwing wala akong makapitan, lahat kayo binibitawan ako? Bakit ang lamig lamig niyo sakin? Para akong nasa isang islang malayo na walang kasama at sumisigaw ng tulong pero hindi marinig? Nasan kayo? Alam niyo ba yung mga panahong umiiyak ako at sa tuwing andyan kayo pinupunasan ko to kagad para wag ipakitang hirap ako? Nadatnan niyo ba kong nagdadabog at nagmumukmok habang kayo ay dinadaan daanan lang ako? Ultimo ni ha, ni ho, wala manlang kayong sinabi? Sino bang manhid at nagkulang? Ako ba o kayo? Parang hinihigop ako. Hinang hina na ko pero walang nagbibigay sakin ng lakas. At wala na, hindi ko na alam.

God, sana tao ka na lang. Ikaw nalang kasi yung natitira sakin. : (

ang lungkot

2006-09-03T06:03:00.001-07:00

Ang hirap paniwalaan na wala na yung aso namin. Kamamatay lang niya kanina, at akala ko nung una, natutulog lang siya pero mali ako, di ko alam na tepok na pala siya. Nagsimula yan nung unti-unti na naglagas yung mga buhok niya at kasunod nun, nagkaron siya ng malalim na sugat na bigla na lang sumulpot. Hindi ako makapaniwala na wala ng tatahol ng malakas pag may ibang tao dito sa bahay, wala ng gwardiya at protector ng bahay pag wala kami, kung para sa mga may mga alagang hayop sa bahay, maiintindihan niyo yung pakiramdam na mawalan ng aso na inalagaan mo ng mahigit tatlong taon. Sa amin na siya lumaki, at di ko inaakalang pagkatapos kunin samin ang lola ko, yung aso naman namin ang isusunod. Wag mong akalain na madali lang tanggapin mawalan ng aso, yup tama ka, hayop sila at di tao, pero minsan, hindi mo mapipigilan na mahalin ang isang bagay na hindi mo inaakala. Nung buhay pa siya, madalas dinadaan daanan ko lang siya habang tinatahulan niya ako bago ako umalis ng bahay, naalala ko na nabubuwiset pa ako sa kanya tuwing dumudumi siya pero iba pala ang pakiramdam pag nawala na talaga. Tama nga sila na hindi mo malalaman kung gano kahalaga ang isang tao o bagay sayo hanggang mawala to. Para akong nawalan ng isang kamag-anak, hindi ako nagpapatawa pero nararamdaman ko sa puso ko yung guilt at mourn. Hindi siya simpleng aso lang, bestfriend siya ng lahat ng tao dito. Siguro nga panahon na niya talaga at wala na akong magagawa tungkol dun. Aminado ako na napabayaan namin siya, pero alam ko at alam namin na mahal namin siya kahit aso lang siya. At sa ngayon, naghuhukay na si papsi at kuya ng libingan niya, at walang biro, maimimis ko siya ng sobra.

;' (

ang lungkot

2006-09-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

hala

2006-08-31T02:41:00.000-07:00

Ang petsa ngayon ay Agosto 31, 2006, oras ay 5: 37 ng hapon. Napaka bilis ng oras di ba, para lang tinangay ng hangin bigla. At yung Disyembre nung nakaraang taon ay tapos na. Wala, kasi nabalitaan ko na baba SIYA ng bundok para umuwi sa Maynila. At bukas yun. At ang balita ko pa eh kasama sa plano niya na bumisita sa Holy, at ang ibig sabihin noon, kung aayon ang tadhana bukas, malamang magkikita kami, ay, teka, correction, ako lang pala ang makakakita sa kanya, bakit kamo? Eh kasi kahit magpapansin ako, hindi niya ako mapapansin. Parang just another face lang. Hindi ko alam kung ikatutuwa ko ba o hindi yung pagpunta niya kasi ang balita ko eh MASAYA daw siya dun sa bundok. Ibig sabihin, ako na lang pala ang naiwan dito. Paulit ulit kong sinasabi sa blog ko na ayoko na. Pero sabi nga, magkaiba ang sinasabi ng puso at utak. Tinangay na siya ng panahon samantalang ako nasa kabilang panahon pa rin. Umusad na ang oras at marami na ang nagbago, pero yung nararamdaman ko ngayon, hindi umusad kasama ng panahon. Sana matuto na ang utak ko na sumama sa panahon, ayoko na talaga. Kaya siguro ako ganito kasi kahit kailan, di ako umamin sa kanya hanggang sa umalis na siya papuntang malayo. Malayong malayo sakin, ay hindi, matagal na at simula pa noon, talagang malayo na talaga siya. Kung baga, ang lakas talaga ng impact niya, pag tinamaan ka, ang sakit sa sobrang lakas. Somehow, nag lolong parin akong makita siya, kaya lang napaka useless ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. Not all fairytails have happy endings. Totoo nga naman. ;p

yes, it's terrible

2006-08-28T02:49:00.000-07:00

Today was our Linggo ng Wika. The night before this day, I was bothered by my cough and colds. It's terrible, I'm not yet outgrowing this crap asthma attack. Binubulabog niya ako once or twice a month. Anyway, I was not feeling well this day, and before I go to school, I was having bad predictions of what was going to happen this day. Umaga pa lang, alam mo na di ba? It was like unusual and I don't feel going to school this day, but siyempre, you should set aside your priorities as a student. Mejo di talaga maganda ang pasok ko. At yung paligid ko, parang napaka gulo. Na-totorete ang lahat, kasama na ako dun, parang ang lakas ng adrenaline rush sa katawan ko. I was sweating a lot and my heart was pounding very fast, hindi ko alam kung dahil ba kinakabahan ako sa contest, o may kakaiba lang talaga. Para akong makinang tinanggalan ng baterya. Nanlalambot ako at parang wala sa sarili. It's always driving me nuts, anyhoo, I'm not used to this feeling. And oo nga, I expected something that din't happen again. Parang malas eh. I want to do something but when I'm already at it, shoot, sige, pumapalpak. Even though I try my very best, my best still ain't enough. At ewan ko na, pumapalya at bumobokya ako. Para akong nakasakay sa chubibong ayaw tumigil. Hirap ako mag-isip, para talagang wala ako sa sarili everyday. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na parang pinagsakluban ka ng langit at lupa pero ang alam mo, wala ka naman talaga dapat problemahin. It's confusing at the same time. How long will I suffer this JYNX that I am experiencing, and NO ONE COULD HELP ME OUT. KAILANGAN KO NG KAIBIGAN NGAYON NA HANDANG MAKINIG. But it seems all are busy. Nakakahiyang mang istorbo.

I'm dead tired. : (

im in looooove..

2006-08-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

I'm in looovveee..
To whom?
Secret.. Pero dahil mahal ko kayo, sasabihin ko na

I'm in love with a..person, of course, but it's kind of weird because we never met. Yes, never. That's why I'm thinking of seeing him, even just in my dreams only. Naiinlove na sa Koreano, sheeet, tae.. hate it. Sa tingin mo pag nagkita kami, panu kami mag-uusap kung magkaiba ang lengwahe namin. Grabbe, pati ba naman yun pinoblema? Eh ni hindi nga kayo magkikita eh.
I love Se7en. Ngiti pa lang, ulam na! He's super hot. Too hot too handle, ang kinis ng muka niya, mas makinis pa sakin. Grabe, Never in my entire life magugustuhan ko ang isang KOREANO. There's nothing wrong with them but I just din't realize na may something din sila. Nakaka mezmerize yung eyes niya. And yun, grabbe, nababaliw na ako. I might suffer from TRICHOTILLOMANIA. nyahaha.

Take note, I'm not in love with just one person, I'm also in love with someone else.

I'm in love with Ne-yo, grabbe. Negro siya, okay, pero just the same, looks are'nt everything. Astig siya. His song are really great. Yung beat ng mga kanta niya, wow, how can he come up with that great composition even if he's too young? He even write songs for other artists. So that's why db? Ang galing.

Ano na ba ang nangyayari sa mundong ito? Haha. Lahat ng nagiging crush ko, yung mga impossible ma-reach, unattainable db? HAHA. Yun lang ang masasabi ko sa sarili ko. Pero it's nice having someone you look up to. It makes you realize that the world is'nt bad after all. Because of your admiration, you try to immitate those good traits that the person you admire have, having that "someone" is not a distraction. It is an inspiration, so you don't need to quarrel youself about having a crush on someone or what. Kaya nga hanggang crush ka lang. Tingin at pasulyap-sulyap, busog ka na. I miss the "kilig" feeling, sabi nga ni Ms. Malayas, pag admiration lang, makakaramdam ka pa ng kilig, pero pag nagpatali ka na sa isang tao, parang wala ng ganun.

windang

2006-08-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

hay. wala pa ring mas sasarap sa pag rerelax at pag "chichill" sa bahay. ah. nakawiwindang din ang brokeback mountain. hindi pangkaraniwang pagkakataon na mapanuod ang isang obrang kahindik hindik ang mga eksena. punong-puno. punong- puno ng pagmamahal. pagmamahal ng dalawang ehem. hindi yun kabastusan. it's an art you know, like that.

nakawiwindang ang aroma at sarap ng sinigang sa mga panahong pagod na pagod. masarap ang sabaw, at talaga namang, wala, masarap nga siya. ang exams, over, it's over, tapos na siya, at tatlong markahan pa, bago ako makakahinga ng maayos.

ang ganda ng click na movie. akala ko puro kabalastugan lang ang alam ni adam sandler, pero, di lahat ng akala at kuro-kuro ay totoo. feeling mo lang. at yung bring it on. maganda. oo, maganda siya. bow.

nakakawindang yung eyebugs ko, parang tinubuan ng something, ang laki. siyempre, nag-aral ako, nag-aral. maniwala ka naman please. walang halong barbero. sige na, maniwala ka na.

kung ayaw mo, edi wag..

kung ang W na karaniwang sign ay para sa whatever..
ngayon, W is for winner naman..

the week

2006-08-09T02:51:00.001-07:00

This week is one of those weeks which I really hate. First, we went to Cagayan to go to the burial of my lola who just passed away. While I was there, I was just thinking of what am I going to miss that day bacause you know, everyone seems to be busy in third year and so did I and I can't help but be a little startled on what's going to happen to school and catching up lessons. Anyhoo, when we arrived at the bus terminal in Tugegarao( that's where my dad grew up, a city in Cagayan)it was already 5 in the morning and I am still sleepy that time. I felt tired and somewhat like tipsy, though I din't drink. We were fetched by my brotherhoods and papsi. Then I rode in the back of the pick-up, it really feels like heaven when the air is going through your face, it's nice, try it now. haha.

Damn, I cried, in the burial, I am not suppose to cry but there was someting inside me that made me very sad. Maybe the guilt feelings that I have. That's because I rarely see my lola. Thae last time I saw her was way back year 2000. Six long years had passed and I could'nt believe she will leave us so soon, I really know that time flies so fast, so fast that you cannot catch up with it. In a snap, people will leave you before you notice it. I also din't saw her in the last days of her life, when she needed someone like her apo to be with her.

Going back..

At seven p.m., we headed back to Manila, and take note, we left at the same day we came. So I din't have time to rest. It was a long 10 hrs of trip. Finally we reached Manila, headed for a taxi, and went home. Anyhoo, I needed to catch up for school, so I ate, bathed and then dress up so quick. I did not sleep and I am too tired of going to class. But there are really things that you should prioritize and sacrifice, anyhoo, it will be my loss if I will still spend a day not going to school.

I hate this week because exams are fast approaching, just the thought of studying hard subjects kills me. I hate this feeling.

We had our so-called "performance" as part of our club grade. I do not know if our moderator was satisfied, but we did our best, we're not professinals, so please do not expect an overwhelming, standing ovation-ing performance. But at least we know we did great, and that is enough for us...

*stress germs, stressors, STRESS, layuan mo ako....please..

the week

2006-08-09T02:51:00.000-07:00

This week is one of those weeks which I really hate. First, we went to Cagayan to go to the burial of my lola who just passed away. While I was there, I was just thinking of what am I going to miss that day bacause you know, everyone seems to be busy in third year and so di I so I can't help but be a little startled on what's going to happen to school and catching up lessons. Anyhoo, when we arrived at the bus terminal in Tugegarao( that's where my dad grew up, a city in Cagayan)it was already 5 in the morning and I am still sleepy that time. I felt tired and somewhat like tipsy, though I din't drink. We were fetched by my two brotherhoods and papsi. Then I rode in the back of the pick-up, it really feels like heaven when the air is going through your face, it's nice, try it now. haha.

Damn, I cried, in the burial, I am not suppose to cry but there was someting inside me that made me very sad. Maybe the guilt feelings that I have. That's because I rarely see my lola. Thae last time I saw her was way back 2000. Six long years had passed and I could'nt believe she will leave us so soon, I really know that time flies so fast, so fast that you cannot catch up with it. In a snap, people will leave you before you notice it. I also din't saw her in the last days of her life, when she needed someone like her apo to be with her.

Going back..

At seven p.m., we headed back to Manila, and take note, we left at the same day we came. So I din't have time to rest. It was a long 10 hrs. Finally we reached Manila, headed for a taxi, and went home. Anyhoo, I needed to catch up for school, so I ate, bathed and then dress up so quick. I did not sleep and I am too tired of going to class. But there are really things that you should prioritize and sacrifice, anyhoo, it will be my loss if I will still spend a day not going to school.

I hate this week because exams are fast approaching, just the thought of studying hard subjects kills me. I hate this feeling.

We had our so-called "performance" as part of our club grade. I do not know if our moderator was satisfied, but we did our best, we're not professinals, so please do not expect an overwhelming, standing ovation-ing performance. But at least we know we did great, and that is enough for us...

*stress germs, stressors, STRESS, layuan mo ako....please..

changes

2006-08-01T02:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you noticed pero, andaming bago ngayon. Aside from the new court in our school, meron pang mas malalim na pagbabago na di ko mapaliwanag. My world is getting smaller and smaller this time. Dati, parang ang broad broad ng mundo ko and before, I'm not limiting myself, but now, really, I've changed..

Even for my friends, my previous friends back then, they seem so cold when I'm approaching them. Samantalang dati, naglalakad pa kami ng magkaakbay sa kahabaan ng cooridors, dati niyayakap natin ang isa't isa. Anong nangyari? Dahil ba sa third year na tayo at maraming mas importanteng bagay na dapat mas pagtuunan ng pansin. Naiilang ka ba sakin o ano? They seem not to be comfortable with my prescence. Sino bang may deperensya, ako o ikaw/kayo?

Before, talagang lagalag ako, but now, I prefer being alone or stay with my friends in Penoy. I am not the old girl who used to be running around, making chismis of other people with my peers. Now, I'm silent as a volcano that is already extinct.

Changes..

the 60th of the greatest

2006-07-24T01:30:00.000-07:00

This entry is my 60th entry since I started blogging. I just realized how time really flies so fast that I hardly notice it. As I was going through my archives, I really laughed at my first entries. It made me reminsce of everything that went through my life these days. Grabbe.

As you noticed, my life really changed now. I din't join the varsity team this year, also the fact that I have changed my club. I was in Acoustics now, although that's not the final name for our club, and my moderator is Ate Nica. Since Gr. 3, I was really loyal to Basketball Club till 2nd year. I don't know what happened to me this year. My love and interest for my sport was slowly fading away. I remember my kuya said: " Alam mo, kahit sa anong sport pwede ka mag excel, pero ngayon tiniggil mo nanaman". Kung alam niyo lang kung gano ko kamahal ang basketball. It just so happened that I cannot balance everything in my hands. For those of you who don't know, I always quit. yes, that's true. Even before, a long long time ago, my sport was Taekwondo, but I loss the interest, so I quit.

Ang hirap ng ganong feeling. Halos buhay ko na yung basketball and I din't imagine I will quit that sport. It's really hurting me deep down inside. Just the thought of not being included in the practices, It's really been bugging me all the time. Tandaan niyo, hindi ako sumali sa varsity para lang magpasikat, hindi ganon yun, I just want to do the thing that I love most, and that's it, walang halong hidden agenda di tulad ng iba. I just want to focus this time on one thing: MY STUDIES. It's the most important thing now. Hindi na to joke joke di tulad nung dati. I don't want to fool around. Honestly, hindi nga ito excuse para di ako magbasketball, pero sa totoo lang kasi, mahihirapan ako eh. I know myself and my capacities as well. Hindi ako superwoman. Marami rin akong failures na nararanasan. But I don't want to fail my studies, I don't want to dissapoint my parents, and I want to make it this year, sobrang GUSTO KO. And pag sinabi ko, gagawin ko, wag na kayong umapila pa.

I am really surrounded by evil spirits these days, and I don't want you to disturb me. Please, tantanan niyo ako. Please.

"Lord, you're the only one that I could lean on."

new

2006-07-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

I got tired and sick of pink and those bright colors in my blog, so i've decided to change the layout of my blog, trying to be simple this time. Just pure black.

Alongside changing my layout, I also want to be new. I want to start something good this time. Yung tipong gusto ko ng malaking pagbabago. Sawa na kasi ako sa mga ka- eklabooHAN ng buhay ko eh. I want to get rid of the things that causes my mind to be confused. I had so many reasons to be stressed these days and shempre pag stressed, marami ring problema. Kailangan ko pang mag-strive, marami pang kulang sakin na dapat punan coz everything I do seems to be always wrong. Em, hindi ko alam, labo eh.

* Try ko kayang pumuntang Babuyan Islands.. baka mas maganda dun..*

iyak

2006-07-10T02:42:00.000-07:00

gusto ko umiyak hanggang makatulog ako..
gusto umiyak hanggang sa dulo ng walang hanggan..
pero kahit anong iyak ko, walang saysay

bakit kailangan pang umiyak?

wat a day

2006-07-07T03:47:00.000-07:00

the crush
by parokya ni edgar

crush- (noun) an admiration that can leadd to infatuation, something you can be obsessed about.

Pero pano kung ang depenisyong inaasam asam mo sa "crush" ay ganito?

This is dedicated to kuba, ang swerte mo talaga ever, ginawan nanaman kita ng entry, eto at isaksak mo sa baga mo, wala eh, asar ako sa mukha mo.

the crush by parokya ni edgar

this is how it goes:

Darling you gotta let me know!Bakit ang pangit pangit mo!You always say that you are pretty,Pero ika'y mukhang lalake!
So c'mon on and let me know,Bakit ang pangit pangit mo!I'm saying PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!Go away, 'cause you smell "panis"!Ang hininga parang kubeta!Ang panget na may anghit pa!So c'mon on and let me know!Bakit ang pangit pangit mo!Sa itsura mong bakulaw!Ang daigdig ko ay gugunaw!Parang naglalakad na pimple!Kay Chiquito pwedeng double!So c'mon and let me know!Bakit ang pangit pangit mo!Ang kutis mo'y parang adobe(Your skin is like a rough stone)Ang buhok mo'y parang alambre(Your hair is like a tangled wiring)Katawan mo'y parang tambyolo(Your body is like a raffle ticket)Para kang galing sa impyerno(It is as if you came from hell)So c'mon and let me knowBakit ang pangit pangit mo

o di ba kuba? panalong panalo! pasensiya na kung eto nanaman ako't nagkakasala, pero talagang di mapigilan ng aking bibig na bigkasin ang mga kalugmok lugmok na salitang ito sapagkat ikaw mismo ang pumipilit sakin na gawin yun. don't you had fun reading the song? bakit porket ba the crush yung pamagat eh nafeel mo na may pagtingin ako sayo? hoy, gising, basahin mo yung lyrics para maabsorb mo kung anong totoo, magtirik ka man ng kandila, kulamin mo man ako o ano, hinding hindi yan mangyayari, ewan ko nga lang kung anung klaseng gayuma yung binigay mo kay libag kaya ganun, siguro super duper strong kaya hanggang ngayon eh inaalipin mo pa rin siya, sa bagay wala namang mali dahil halos magkaparehas kayo. kung akala mo eh di ko pa nakalimutan yung nakaraan, mali ka, tagal ng wala sa utak ko yun, gusto ko lang mang asar, mga tipong devilish thoughts of you and libag. well, it i know it does not make sense, pero wala lang, trip lang. angal?

PRINT MO TO TAS AWAYIN MO AKO. SA MONDAY OR EVEN WHEN YOU WANT! GO GO GO! HIYAH!!

ang hina ko

2006-07-05T02:12:00.000-07:00

OO NGA, ANG HINA KO.

hindi ko alam kung panu pa ako babawi. sinasabi ko noon pa na kahit anung mangyari, babawi ako, pero sa tuwing susubukan ko, lagi akong pumapalpak, i mean, naranasan mo na ba na kahit ano gagawin mo para lang makabawi sa mali mo? halos pagtirikan ko na ng kandila yung geometry eh. pati yung ibang subjects na nahihirapapn akong makakuha ng mataas na grade. mind you, hindi ko to sinusulat dahil sa gusto kong humingi ng simptiya o awa galing sa inyo. hindi rin dahil gusto kong i-degrade yung sarili ko. alam kong may kapasidad ako, pero ang problema, hirap akong ipakita. kung alam niyo lang kung pano ngdurogo ang puso ko sa tuwing nakakakuha ako ng pagkakamali. failure ba. hirap na hirap ako ngayong first quarter, eh pano na pag second, third and fourth quarter na? eh di nawala na kinabukasan ko? bakit kasi di na lang ako bigyan ng perpektong utak para di ako nag dudusa ng ganito, gusto ko na nga umiyak dahil awang awa na ako sa sarili ko, sa magulang ko at sa ginagawa ko. kaninang pagkatapos ng confession, bukod sa penance eh nagdasal pa ako para makabawi naman ako sa mga test ko na medyo di kanais nais yung mga grado. napapaiyak ako kapag nag papangako ako sa magulang ko ng magandang marka ngayong first quarter tapos feeling ko wala talaga. hindi ko mabibigay kung ano pinangako ko. kung kayo nasa pwesto ko, hindi ka rin siguro makakatulog kakaisip kung pano ba? sabi nila, it's too early to give up pero awang awa na ako sa sarili ko to the point na naiiyak narin ako. ewan ko ba kung bobsticks talaga ako o sinumpa ako ng kapalaran ko, hindi ko alam talaga. parang wala akong makapitan. importante ang grades ko at ang school para sakin, kaya kung nabababawan ka sakin eh malamang wag ka ng nagkukunwaring awa ka, maghanap ka ng ibang site na gusto mong tingnan, di kita nirerequire na magbasa ng blog ko na walang kasing loser. panu ba, move on lang move on. pero hanggang kailan? hanggang kailan ako maawa sa sarili ko? hanggang kailan ako makakbawi? pag huli na? ganun naman lagi eh. shet.

wala ng papangit pa sa araw ngayon. Lord, help me with this confusion.

hey

2006-07-03T05:11:00.000-07:00

" if my tears could bring you back to me"

if you look, there's a deeper meaning.. diba?

panu nga ba mababalik ng isang simpleng pag- iyak ang mga tao o pangyayaring lumipas na? bakit laging asa huli ang pagsisisi at di na lang pwedeng malaman mo toh bago pa magumpisa?

ewan. pero diba ang epal, ang masakit pa non, ang dami mong mga "sana". sana nagawa ko, sana ganyan ganito, andaming excuses na maririnig, pero yan yung realidad eh. lagi kong iniisip sana okay sa alright lahat, kaso pag iniisip ko yun, lagi akong kinakapitan ng kamalasan, na para sigurong buntot ko na yon.

alam mo kung siguro mabait sakin ang tadhana, wala sana akong pinoprpblema ngayon. minsan kasi pakiradam ko okay na ako. pero ngayon ko lang nasabi na wala talaga ako kung walang kabiguan(naks).

kung jologs ako, mas jologs ka. senti ako ngayon eh, papano na?

onga

2006-06-26T02:33:00.000-07:00

kaninang umaga, and di malilimutang sinabi ni ms. malayas tungkol sa ebanghelyo(gospel) nung umaga, ganito kasi yun.

" do not judge me, I'm not a book"

grabe. tawang tawa talaga ako. akala ko nga magpapatuloy ang swerte ko hanggang makauwi ako sa aming tirahan kaya lang medyo kinapitan nanaman ako ng malas ngayon. syempre, palagi naman eh. lagi na lang ako nagdadasal para sa magandang araw, pero lagi nalang malas. malas. malas. ewan ko kung pinanganak lang talaga akong malas o anupaman. datapwat ako'y malas, ako'y nananatiling nakangiti, kahit peke man o ano. ngiti lang kahit mukha ka ng baliw kahit sa ka loob looban mo masakit at gusto mo na umiyak na lang. madrama pero, yun kasi yung totoo.

ayaw ko. pero gusto ko. hoy tulong naman!

fall seven times, stand up eight

2006-06-17T23:53:00.000-07:00

"fall seven times, stand up eight"

Sounds familiar? Maybe because of what we tackled up in english last year or if you are a big fan of.. Duane Wade, that's the quote in his commercial.

If you look at the words, you might find it stupid to fall seven times instead of falling only once. Some say it is okay to make mistakes, but just don't do it twice. I find it very sarcastic. A person is a person. He/she might find difficulty to track the right way and go through several steps before doing it right. Maybe I'm the right example for that. I myself admitts that I really fail a lot and I find it hard to keep on track. I always lost my self-esteem and I always find myself stupid. I really do hate persons with a strong ego of themselves. I just think I'm not confident enough of what I can do.

If I can compute 1,567,009 times 34 in an instant, then I would be grateful enough to say that I'm good. If I could jump at the top of Mt Everest without hurting myself, maybe my confidence would boost again.

If you are like me, think again, coz there are things that makes you special, you just don't know it. You have the capacity of doing a lot of things. But you just need time for yourself and pick up all the pieces you have left to make you whole again.

Para akong sira. Nostalgic huh?

third year

2006-06-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

third year na ko.

i don't know how to react when my mom was changing my patch no. 2 to 3. i cannot believe that i reached 3rd year. i am excited yet very nervous coz i don't know how am i going to take the responsibilities that's waiting for me. ewan pero weird, haha. hindi ko alam.

first week of my third year life was shocking. i din't expect that we're going to have a lesson right away. i was having a hangover about algebra=Biology. and now geom, trigo and chem. ehem ang hirap ah. i don't know how to start it and i don't even have the idea if i can take it and handle it at the same time. kung biology lag eh walang problema, kaya lang, bakit naging tatlo pa?

i am still reminscing about my 2nd year life. honestly, i din't take that year seriously, i am happy-go-lucky that time but I still manage to pass. Now, I do not know if I can still pursue that bad habit. I am still attached to my friends in Sandigan. The Bandang Penoy. I really miss you guys, and in fact, until now, i am still wishing that we belong to one section but that's life, pinaghiwalay din tayo. At lalong nahiwalay si elka. haha. good luck sa yo. nakakatuwang isipin na sa dinami dami ng pwede mo maging kaklase eh yung kaaway mo pa talaga. kapag nananadya nga naman ang kapalaran oh. things like that could happen. I hope I can do this. Third year na ako. WALA NANG ATRASAN.

cars

2006-05-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

I have lost my trust in cars.

Because of the trajedies that I hear about cars, I am really worried when I'm riding cars. Recently, Tin's brother, Andrew Mate, died because of a car accident and now, I heared that an upcoming freshman died in U.S. because of the same accident. Instead of having a good and fruitful vacation, she experienced suffering then later on she died. How I wish cars were'nt invented.

To Tin Mate:

tin, hindi ko ineexpect na ganito yung mangyayari sa kuya mo. tuwing may class sharing, lagi mong kinukwento kung gano kayo ka-close ng kuya mo, then all of a sudden, mababalitaan kong wala na siya. I am sure he is a good person kaya kinuha siya agad. Physically, he's not here, but I know he will be your guardian angel. Take this incident as a blessing also. Be more faithful and I will pray for him. masaya na siya, you don't need to worry.

To Inna Villana:( to those who do not know her, she's an incoming freshman, she just died because of a car accident)

Maybe I do not know you, but somehow, you are a part of the Shs family, so di ka na iba sa kin, I hope you find peace with God and I will pray for you.

See how life can be very short? Hindi mo alam kung kailan ka kukuhanin ng Diyos. These incidents should give you a lesson: Trajedies and accidents cannot be avoided, but can be prevented. Please, maawa kayo sa maiiwan niyo sa buhay. Continue praying so that you will be guarded by your angels, and in case this will happen to someone you love, you are not alone, coz' God will surely be there. Count your blessings and always find a time for your family. That's the only thing you can bury with you when your death comes.

Tin, condolence.

pnaginip part 2

2006-05-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

anak ng pating naman oo. pangalawang beses na toh. di ako makapaniwala na magpaparamdam siya uli. kailan ka ba titigil? bakit ba ang kulit mo? ang labo lang kasi bakit kapag nasa panaginip kita, nagkakausap tayo? sinusubukan ko na nga na kalimutan lahat tapos ikaw tong lapit ng lapit sa panaginip ko? utang na loob naman. habang tumatagal, lalo akong nahuhulog sayo, pero ayoko na nga mangyari pa yun dahil nababanas na ko sayo. kung wala talagang balak maging totoo ng magagandang panaginip eh bakit kailangan pa mangyari yun. pinapaasa ka lang ng leche mong panaginip na ikaw naman si tanga na akala mo totoo na pero pagising mo sasabihin mo rin na "sayang". ganyan naman lagi eh. sa dinami dami na puwede kong mapanaginipan eh eto pa talaga. nananadya pa ang kapalaran? utang na loob naman. tigilan mo na toh, ayoko ng pag-asa dahil hanggang pag-asa lang naman ako di ba? kailan pa nagkatotoo lahat ng ilusyon ko. namen. puwede naman akong managinip ng mga kambing na lumilipad, ng mga aswang, ng mga kabayo pero hindi nga lang si petra. pero ikaw pa yung laging naiisip ngpanaginip na mapanaginipan ko. nananadya ka ba o talagan ang kulit lang ng lahi mo? aalis ka na nga may gana ka pang manggulo. sapat na sakin na isipin ka paminsan minsan pero iba ang impact ng panaginip eh. hindi toh madaling mabura sa isip, lagi mo tong maalala at gabi-gabi pupuntahan ka sa panaginip. kahit na ang sarap pa ng tulog mo dahil dun. pero paniguradong paggisin mo, ang sama na dahil akala mo totoo. Get real.

buhay nga naman oo.

panaginip

2006-05-15T21:48:00.000-07:00

this is not your ordinary dream. kung ang mga ibang girls, mahilig managinip sa kung kelan nila matatagpuan ang prince charming nila, ako naman, hindi.

well. to start of, napaka laboo ng dream ko, bakit ba kasi kailangan pang managinip ng tao ng hindi na dapat mapanaginipan. yun bang sinusubukan mo na kalimutan pero hanggang sa panaginip mo, sinusundan kaparin. hindi nakakatakot yung panaginip ko, medyo napaluha lang ako nung nanaginip ako nun, di ko sinasadya yun. pero ayoko na ng ganitong buhay, gusto ko narin maging katulad ng ibang normal na babae, katulad din nila dapat ako, kaya lang dahil sa panaginip na to' naguluhan tuloy ako.

bakit ba candy napanaginipan kita, alam mo ba na nakalimutan ko na lahat pati mukha mo. pero bakit sa panaginip ko binigyan mo ko ng pag-asa pero pag gising ako ni hindi ka lumingat sa kin'. ayoko na ng ganito, nasa Baguio ka, nasa Maynila ako. lalo ka pang lumayo pero bakit di ko manlang naisip na hinahanap parin kita. hindi sa gusto pa kita pero yung atraksyon ko sayo, bumalik uli. marami na akong nakilalang iba na naging malapit sa kin pero ni isa sakanila wala akong nagustuhan pero ikaw na hindi ko nakilala, bumubuntot ka parin. bakit di nalang maging reyalidad yung mga napanaginipan ko. namen, bakit ikaw pa, anu bang meron ka? di ba sabi nila pag crush lang madaling mawala, pero anu nga toh? kalukohan ko ba o kasalanan mo? ikutikuin ko man ang nangyari sa kabanata 15 ng Florante at Laura, di kaparin matanggal sa isip ko, sana matigil na yung kahibangan ko dahil sa huli, ako din yung tanga. lahat na ng paraan ginawa ko. kung sana noon di kita napansin, wala sigurong ganitong panaginip na nagpapagulo sa kin. nalilito ako sa nararamdaman ko sa yo. di ko alam kung paghanga lang o pagmamahal. pero alam ko sa sarili ko na nagbago na ko at ayoko sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. siguro wala lang naman to sayo kung mabasa mo to(dahil di mo naman alam na ikaw si candy). labo talaga. ayos.

pagsabihan niyo nga ko. kung naiinis kayo, wag nalang. kung naiintindihan niyo. speak.

rubber

2006-05-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

rubber.

san nga ba ako ?

tange. asa bahay ka, hello, magising ka nga. hawak hawak mo ule yang rubber na pinang ala raygun mo sa kapatid mo. yung pinangtali mo ng sugar na may tagas sa hulihan. eto nanaman, di ko siya makita. hinahanap ko kasi yung pangatlong rubber band sa ilalim ng kama, kaia lang di ko na makikita. di tuloy ako makagawa ng maayos na star para mapakita ko kay kuya na marunong ako. malas ka talaga sa buhay, wala ka ng ginawa kundi magpasikat sa nagagawa mo sa rubber na yun na naputol mo kaka-strech. namen. wala talaga akong magawa sa araw na to. para akong engeng na naka tingin sa labas ng bahay na hindi alam kung ano tinitingnan, pero may nakita akong rubberband na lumipad, mai nagtapon ata. haha. un.

ganyan talaga pag alang masabi. weirdo.

new haircut

2006-05-10T18:01:00.000-07:00

I got my new haircut yesterday. Me and my mom went to FIX to have our split ends be cut and just for pampering ourselves coz we do it only once in a while. I was pissed with the stylist, he offered me a lot of Bench products while he was cutting my hair, I kept on saying, ' cge next time siguro, kasi ayaw din ni mama'. Then next to that, he asked me if I want my hair to be cellophaned, then I asked how much it will cost,shux,1,100 pesos. I do not have an amount like that and besides, I'm shy to ask my mom to give me that kind of amount. Don't they realize that it is the hard times that were facing, and I think cellophane is uneccessary lust. Maybe next time if I hit the jackpot in lotto.

I looked like as if I was a piece of a chewed gum stucked in the sole of a slipper. I din't like it, but others do like it. My hair got shorter, about 2 inches was cut from my original hair length. Layered again with bangs at both sides. But it was fine.

I was having troubles with my dysmenorhea. Mainly because I lessened my excercise and I din't drink Femina, I'm anemic,that's why I need Iron more than anything. I was having headache and cramps today. "Parang sinumpa tong araw na to', ewan ko ba"

Till here, babu!

xxx

2006-05-07T18:39:00.000-07:00

may secret crush ako..

yeyeyeah!. tama, meron nga akong bagong crush. pero iisa lang ang lahi ng ex-crush ko at yung bago. kung kilala niyo si candy, malamang makakrelate kayo, pero kung hindi, kawawa kanaman! maki-chismis kanalang sa may alam na mxdong madaldal. eh kasi, yung crush ko ung kapatid ni candy! c nikko. cge bulgaran na! pero cutie siya, di ko lang sure kung sino mas bata, kung ako ba o siya. wahaha! hot! hot! hot! wawawawi! hayup, iisang lahi at sinapupunan sila naggaling, natural one race, one face! mana kay candy! sharing lang! hahaha!

pizza pie

2006-05-06T19:59:00.000-07:00

" i din't thought of eating that pizza inside that oven but if i could, i would swallow it whole"

that is the line i often murmur during this hard times that i can't buy things that i like because of not having allowance for almost two months. i was contented to begg for money. lucky for me if i will come up with 20 pesos a day. nakakahiya ako, ganyan talaga pag short. if i could win in the lotto, i will buy twenty million pizzas and i would swallow it all.

my sunburn was aching the whole night that i should supposed to be spending for sleeping. we went to nine waves with my neighbor friends because it's cha's birthday yesterday( hapi birthday cha!). i was really so black that you can't see me in the dark except for my two eyes so white and openly wide. maybe because of too much chlorine, my body was having red spots and i really suffered last night finding remedies for my itching problem. nakakainis kasi hindi ako makatulog kahit pagod ako. sana makilala niyo pa ako pag pasok dahil ang itim ko na.

wala na akong masabi. next time ule.

ang batang si buknoy

2006-04-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

ang batang si buknoy

nang minsan napadpad ako sa may eskenita. mga 3 milya di kalayuan sa bahay namin. yung eskenita na ito, makitid at madilim. paano mo matatawid ang eskenitang ganito na buhay kung walang ilaw, makitid at parang meron pang gustong sundan ka. naglalakad ako ng mahinahon. kinakalma ko na nga ang sarili ko. masyado lang akong nanonood ng mga fiction kaya tuloy nakakaisip ako ng ganitong mga bagay. tuloy tuloy lang ang lakad ko. pero parang may kumakaluskos dun sa likuran ko. ewan ko, parang katapusan ko na at wala na, mamamatay na ako at di na aabot sa birthday ko sa 22. mukhang di na ata ako aabot ng 15. lumalamig lalo habang naglalakad ako. tumataas balahibo ko at di ako mapakali ng sobra. ayan, naiiyak na ko sa sobrang takot.

"ate, ate may pagkain ka ba jan?" . nagulantang ako at unti unting humarap sa nagsasalita. akala ko minumulto na ako, yun pala, batang di pa kumakain ng isang buong araw na namamalimos sa kin. " sori boy, pero wala akong pagkain eh, pasensya na, umuwi kanalang sa inyo."

masakit sakin na ipagtabuyan siya na wala manlang akong maiabot na kahit ano. awang-awa ako sakanya pero wala akong magagawa, wala talaga akong mabigay sakanya.

habang kasama ko siya palabas sa eskenita, natusok yung isa kong paa. nagdugo. dahil siguro walang ilaw, di ko napansin yung dinaanan ko. pagtingin ko, merong bente pesos na nakapatong sa sanga. imbis na ipambili ko ng band-aid, binigay ko nalang yun sa bata. mas kelangan niya yun kesa sakin. sinamahan ko siya bumili ng pagkain. bumili siya ng isang pirasong tinapay na tingin ko yun na yung pagkain niya sa buong araw. kahit papano malaman yung tinapay, nabusog siya. hindi ko siya pinakain ng junk food, lalo siyang manghihina at baka mamaya dahil ssa sobrang gutom, makita ko siya sa lansangan na kasama ng ibang batang nag rurugby, ayoko naman ng ganun. habang paalis kami, di ko namalayang nawala siya bigla, ni hindi ko manlang natanong kung saan siya nakatira, kung sino at anong pangalan niya. kaya pinangalanan ko siyang Buknoy.

nangyari toh bago kami magsimba ng easter vigil mass. ewan ko ba pero parang tinest ako kung kaya ko bang maging mabuti sa iba at kung alam ko talaga yung meaning ng semana santa. nakakapanindig balahibo man siya, hindi ako nagsisisi kasi dahil kay Buknoy, nalaman ko na may kaya din akong gawing tama.

totoo toh. hindi barbero.

black saturday

2006-04-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

Today is black saturday. Another special day for me and for all the Christians who are spending their precious time for the Lord and in case you are into a vacation and party mood, think again. Aren't you aware of what season we are into? Yes I know it's summer, but it's a holy week we are celebrating. It's only a week, so I can't find a reason why you should not sacrifice just a little of your time. Later this afternoon we will e eating in a restaurant with my relatives. We will celebrate our lola's birthday. It's already her 83rd year in this worls, Iwonder how she could manage to live that long, without any heart failures and common sicknesses that most aged peole will have. I really appreciate the fact that she raised her 8 children. The sad thing about this was she has not known me, even my siblings and other cousins. She is not even aware of who we are, that's because she has alzheimer's disease. That's the only sickness of my lola but it's very bothering. Nakakatakot kasi pag sinusumpong siya. Parang bumabalik sa pagkabata. Ganun daw talaga. That's a hereditary sickness so to speak. Even her children can have that at baka pati mommy ko, magkaron in the near future.

No one was on the streets playing. Everyone is in the house, probably some were in their provinces or aout of town. It's very quiet and unusual for me. I'm used to children shouting coz even me is one of those playing. It's natural, I'm not yet old rytt?

I watched news last night. Many people tried to put themselves in the shoe of Jesus. They tried to re enact what has happened. They were crucified and the most exciting thing about it was one of the persons who will be crucified is a British national but unfortunately, he backed out. He was probably afraid or not used of the tradition.

Also the statue of Nazarete were exposed to the public. It had it's parade for His devotees. Some brought handkerchieves and wiped the glass of the "poon". They believe it is miraculous, so to speak.

One day more. Share your blessings. Pray and be healed and pffer yourselves to Him - Bro. Bo Sanchez

good friday

2006-04-14T02:09:00.000-07:00

question: why do people call good friday "good friday" even though Jesus is still dead?

i don't know, i often ask that but no one is answering me.

we went to the church to hear mass. The vigil was sort of long and the priest who presided the mass was new. He was in red "uniform". As well as the lay ministers color code.

We did not kiss the foot of Christ anymore. We went out straight to the car and went home. My brother was asking permission from mama if she will allow him to go out and play. Niloko ng mama ko c Nikko, sabi niya, " malapit sa disgrasya ngayon, wag ka nang lumabas".

is that some kind of a good joke? mama talaga oh.

Still, I need to sacrifice a little more for the sake of the Lenten season. Might as well pray than fool around. Might as well eat just enough than pig out. Might as well stay inside the house than hang out. Konting araw lang toh, magtyaga ka na lang diba?

holy week

2006-04-12T17:34:00.001-07:00

it's holy week today.

actually, it's holy thursday. we're going to attend mass later. washing of the feet and last supper. i'm really guilty that i din't had a chance to confess. my mom said, "that's the least you can do this holy week".

it seems it's not a holy week. people are going to boracay,tagaytay,etc. It's okay to go out of town, but what they did was to have a party all night long, they are not thinking of other things except having fun. they did not have a nerve to go to mass and say a little prayer. yan naman ang hirap sa tao eh, pag may kelangan sila, tsaka lang maiisipan magdasal at magpasalamat. konti lang ang hinihingi ng Diyos, ba't kelangan pagdamutan, eh Siya ba pinagdamutan ka?

that's what im talking about. kung di mo alam na semana santa ngayon, eto na at pinaalala ko sayo. it's hard to please everybody, but if you do not follow, it's your loss, not His.

going back....

unfortunately, i did not do that yesterday. yes, i enjoyed sleeping the whole day (but no really the whole day, but i slept long), i sweat a lot, i played basketball and did a 100 crutches and 50 push- ups. i enjoy doing all those, but a sudden guilt always prick my heart, im really guilty, and i did cry. i realize even if i do things that i enjoy, that will be useless, coz in the end, your conscience will bother you, and it will bother you for the rest of the day.

im with my friends here in the subdivision. we watch a lot of movies instead of confessing. i was not talking the whole day. i was just thinking of that what i did is wrong. i even said that i love Him(not a guy, it's God) but i cannot do it.

actions speak louder than words.

anyhoo. i'll try to make it up today. i just need sometime to keep other things out of my mind and just think about this day. concentrate on what am i supposed to do and avoid further activities that will distract my solemnity and peace on myself.

i badly need to fast. and so are you.

new layout!

2006-04-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

news flash: ako, may bagong layout!

hah. bored lang ako kaya ko pinalitan! yeh! just keep on posting and posting on my chatterbox! kulet! cge babay!

middle child: kulang sa atensyon o pinanganak na OA?

2006-04-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

middle child: kulang sa atensyon o pinanganak na OA

totoo kaya toh? sa experience ko as a middle child na pinaggitnaan ng dalawang lalake, anu sa tingin niyo magiging buhay ko? sabi nga sa statistics, 3 out of 4 children na middle child, nakaka experience ng middle child syndrome. sabi ko nga noon, nagiging "oa" lang siguro tong mga batang ganito. pero nalaman ko mismo sa sarili ko na totoo nga.

hindi nga lang masyadong evident, pero kahit papano, nararamdaman ko siya. im not saying na hindi na ako mahal ng parents ko, pero minsan, nararamdaman ko na left out ako dito. lalo na sa dalawa kong kapatid. yun bang palaging ikaw nalang yung pinagbubuntunan nila ng galit. lagi nilang ini-exaggerate lahat ng gagawin mo tas sasabihin nila: " ang bastos mo, ganyan ka ba namin pinalaki?!". uh! ouch yon para sakin. hindi lang nila alam na lagi akong umiiyak dahil dun. kung sa tingin niyo eh nagpapapansin lang ako, mali. sinasabi ko talaga kung ano yung totoo kong nararamdaman, at blog ko naman to'. free ako magsulat ng kahit anong gusto ko. whether mabasa pa nila kuya toh, ok lang.

pagdating sa mga kapatid ko, all out yung suporta nila. katulad nalang halimbawa sa grades. kung mababa yung mga nakukuha ko, para silang dedma. as in di manlang nila itanong kung anong problema. kasi para sakin, di na baling punahin ka ng magulang mo kung nagkakamali ka, kesa sa wala silang pakialam. pero pag sa mga kapatid ko, talagang tinatanong sila. feeling ko nga, kung late ako umuuwi, di manlang nila isipin kung nasan ba ako, o kung ok lang ako. kapag di pa ako kumakain, hindi manlang nila tanungin kung gutom ba ako, di manlang mag-alala na matutulog akong walang laman yung sikmura ko. samantalang sa mga kapatid ko, tipong hihilahin pa sila para lang kumain.

ewan ko, pero anu ba? Oa nga ba o talagang sinasadyang wag pansinin?

seek and you will find ,knock and it shall be open unto you

2006-04-07T05:02:00.000-07:00

mapapaicip ka.. bakit kaya ganun? sa palagay mo binigay mo na ang lahat lahat sa yo pero lagi ka paring sablay. panu kung takot kang di sila maniwala sa yo at takot kang iwan dahil ayaw mo mag-isa. takot ka ba sa mga panghahamak at panghihimasok sayo ng ibang tao?

ewan ko. pero ito lang ang sobrang nag hihila sakin pabababa. minsan hindi ko na kilala sarili ko dahil pinipilit kong maging "in" sa iba kahit hirap ka para lang masabing nakakasabay ka. ang hirap satin, masyado tayong nagpapaapekto sa mga tao kahit alam natin na mali ito. lagi na lang natin iniisip ang magiging tingin satin ng iba kahit na nakakatapak ka na ng ibang tao.

lagi nalang sinasabi na may sarili tayong kukote at kailangan tong gamitin para di masayang pero ewan ko ba, ung mga tao bakit hinahayaan silang i kontrol ng ibang tao. lagi natin sinasabi na alam natin ginagawa natin pero hindi. bakit di mo subukang tumingin sa salamin at titigan ang sarili. "ako ba talaga toh?" lahat kasi ng ginagawa natin may epekto sa iba, at dapat wag natin isantabi ung mga nararamdaman ng iba. kung ayaw mong bumalik sayo lahat ng mga kasalanang ginawa mo. makonsensya ka. sana pag nagkita tayo, ikaw parin yan. ; p

havardee to me..soon

2006-04-06T05:33:00.000-07:00

malapit na..
yun na..
teka..
excited na ako..
sige pa sige pa..
bilisan..

*o teka lang, ikaw, masyado kang carried away..hmm,aminin,alam ko iniisip mo..kaw ah!bastus ka..*

hindi kasi yun eh. haha. masyado pang maaga para mag-isip, mag sesemana santa pa kor. wag ka masyodong atat tumanda. birthday ko sa twenty two. eto na at inaadvertise ko. tandaan nyo. mark your calendars. i-alarm ang inyong mga telepono. ang birthday ni kor malapit na. haha. di naman sa pagmamayabang, pero 15 nako. yup, tama ang dinig mo, 15 na ako at hindi 51. sabi nga nila para akong 51 years old mag-isip. masydo daw akong mature. o, relax lang yung mga nag-didisagree na mature ako. wag na kayong kumontra, di naman ako yung nagsabi eh. it's just very near, before i knew it, it will be over. pero sana maging special yung birthday ko, yung tipong kakaiba sa mga nakaraang birthday ko. para naman may something exciting na mangyari sa buhay ko kahit ngayon lang. sa mga may balak mamboycott sa birthday ko, i don't care, hindi ka naman kasali sa celebration. wag kang magpapansin. baka gusto mong isampal sa mukha mo yung cake. heh. sama eh. pero ah, sana talga maging great ang day na yun. hope for something that will surprise me. : )

summer days

2006-04-02T20:52:00.000-07:00

hah. It's already summer. Honestly, I'm not happy because I can't do anyhting . Really bored. I try to toss and turn myself to bed but I just can't find a way to escape boredom. It really causes my spine to tingle and my lips to tremble when I'm bored.

I need money. Guitar lessons anyone?

It really pays to be patient. I was asking for something that was not given to me very quick. Then after a month, that was given to me. *Pag may gusto ka, maghintay ka at dadating din yon sayo kung para sayo nga toh*

I'm teribly sick of choknut ang goya. is there someone kind enough out there to hand me a piece of Cadbury 3 wishes?

Hungry. my stomach, its a bit noisy. i have no food. Ma, please go home very quick!run like a wind. uh, me and my brother Nikko needs food.

die another day

2006-04-01T00:14:00.000-08:00

first of all, nothing seems to matter when you leave. everyone's having a party when youare gone. earth will be hell no more. so go now, i do not care and it does not bother me so much.

after suffering almost four years of your prescence, for the first time, i will be relaxed without you. you think your so important?oh please, wake up. she's the only one who will be missing you here. you're just a freak trying hard to please everyone around, and when you already did your business over them, you will hurt them, and start to victim someoene else. please, im tired of you. im tired of your face. im tired of your actions and your promises which you've been broken since then. that's why now, my heart and my mind will be at ease. at least one of you will get your ass outta here. i just pray that YOU,yes YOU..just join her so that my life will be really great.

wait a second, before you leave, don't you have a nerve to say sorry to me? huh, what will i expect of you? you do not have conscience kid. im so dissapointed of you. just a little message for you:

"i thought you were different from others, i thought we're alredy cool, but then you made my life miserable. i just hope you will not mess up with other person's life, coz i swear in the name of KOR,no one will love you and take you seriously if you will act like that. grow up, be mature. when you start to leave, just don't come back here, or else i will throw you back to where you came from. don't think i'll miss you,don't dare thinking of that because you are not the one whom will i miss. FUCK YOUR SHIT OFF ME."

*****mag-gatas kanalang ng milk, para naman may pakinabang ka sa paggawa ng ANCHOR..wag mo nga lang lagyan ng lason*******

kung walang hirap..walang ligaya..; p

2006-03-29T20:32:00.000-08:00

test week ngayon.haha. xmpre stressed talaga ako ngayon. super laki na nga ng eyebugs ko ngayon eh..super wala pa akong tulog.. harhar.. kasi naman eh, bakit ang late ng kim sam soon?,,kelangan ko tuloy magpuyat..(cnung najojologan sa kim sam soon, taas ang paa! ay hindi wagna..nahihilo na ako..magfoot powder ka nalang pareh..yabang nio naman..ang cute ng storya pareh..panuorin nio,saia..:p) haha

being a responsible student, i slept for hours..not studying pinoy,xmpre wala talagang pake sa pinoy eh..haha..pero ndi,nagaral talaga ako..promise.. haha

yung a.p at bio, mejo hirap..yung pinoy, pwede pwede na.. haha

one more day..and im free..summer comin up! ready your shades and swimming floaters..summer,here i come! yeh!

something has never changed

2006-03-24T16:45:00.000-08:00

I was about to wake up, after a humilliating and stressful week, with all projects and sermons that i've had, i will be finally relieved. one, two, three,*boooog*. My left chest was aching. One, two, three,*boog*. I am on the floor now. I did not forced myself to get up. I was feeling very nervous, I cannot move my left chest. I remembered a time when I had this problem, it occured several times, but i din't bother it. But now, it was really terribly painful. Without knowing it, my tears started to fall down to my cheek, down to the floor. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have several intuitions because of having bad dreams I wish i din't dream about. Lord, what's wrong, tell me, i'm confused.

until now, I was crying. Something in my heart was really sobbing for something. I want my heart to talk. I was just looking in one direction and thinking of what will happen to me, i don't even know if my intuitions are true, or am i just sort of a freek thinking too much.

I am starting to see signs of bad luck. I just need some help. If not, I think i'll go crazy crying. What's wrong? My chest was still aching up to now. I felt that I'm cursed. I just need to cope with it, and see what will my future be.

goodnights and goodbyes..

2006-03-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

everything has an ending.. even Romeo and Juliet's love story ended.. life is like a balloon.. at first, it will fly high but in the long run, it will soon loose air and burst in just a snap.. anything might end before you knew it..just like this year.. at the first months of the school year, i was really upset of going to school, but now i realized, i loooved my second yir life( but not enjoyed as much as my first yir life)..

after our P.E. class, i rushed to the clinic to heal my very itchy and painful prickly heat!.. i was really panicking because red spots were starting to pop out in my neck..yaaakk.. while i was rushing to the clinic, i saw ate pau(my busmate)..i forgot how painful my neck was when she hugged me soo tight..she started crying because tomorrow is their graduation.. i felt really ,terribly upset.. thinking how will i live in the school without them?..it sounds very exaggerated, but hey, i really do loove them specially those whom i really bonded with.. it seems soo very o soo fast.. can't believe it..

i still have my hardest and most irritating week left.. exams. gotta prepare for it.. or else, ill be dead.. vacation seems near yet so far.. hihi.. don't you want to prepare for it??..

i just remember to greet someone special to me "happy grad"..haha thank God.. that person replied "salamat".. i want to tell that person that i'll miss the prescence that "youknow" gives.. and before i knew it, my dreams were finally over.. it's over.. except my life..(maybe soon it will be over too)..

so you guys.. do everything you want to do know.. you might not know, tomorrow will be ur last day.. tell the persons you love how much you appreciate them.. do not make me an example.. i din't do that.. you'll regret everything..i swear.. go ahead.. make the most out of the time left..

it's now or never..********

ang hottie nagbabangaw shades

2006-03-22T02:12:00.000-08:00

this day was terribly fun.. i had a jackpot moment today.. seeing this person with bangaw shades,cute smile and nice hair..really,when i saw "youknow"..my mouth dropped..wow.. uh!very hot!..too hot to handle.. this day was very very special,but then very sad.. i suddenly realized how much i love the batch of fourth yir..their batch was really great.. they made my year very meaningful..

im hoping to give my smiley face paper to "you know".. im shy to give it personally.. that's why i hope that ate pau could give it..hihi..1 day to go.. just a day..just one chance.. i don't know..
im really sad..my dream was totally over..

we have 1 week to go!i can smell the sweet air of summer.. i hope i can grab the chance.. please Lord. give me strength..

guys. support please.. need it badly!

chipangot

2006-03-21T02:47:00.000-08:00

sa buhay, di maiiwasang madyahe..,madapa sa harap ng iyong labidabs..madyebs habang may klase..matapunan ng iced tea sa uniform sabay talon at sabi.."naligo naman ako kanina ah!".. well, speaking of naligo, may chika ako sa inyo.. si libag, alam nio ba kung panu maligo??uunahin nia muna ung pwet tapos katawan at ulo.. nice db?ganun.. kaia nga nagkakalibag xa eh.. un nga.. alam ko alam na ng buong mundo ito.. im sorry libag ,alam kong ito ang pinakakaingatan mong sikreto,pero sasabihin ko na talaga,eto na,eto na.. kung mangungulangot ka naman, wag sa clasrum, please,maawa ka sa mga kaklase mo,one more thing, sana ung kulangot mo,wag mo ipahid sa ilalim ng desk mo..WE DON'T SEE THAT,BUT GOD DO..in short..God knows HUDASnot pay!!!..haha,koneksyon.. tuwing nakikita ko talaga ung muka mo,kumukulo ng malupet ung dugo ko..kanina nga gusto kitang tirisin eh..

di ka ba natutuwa, lagi kang special mention sa blog ko..pero i have 2 words for you honey..

FUCK OFF.

kisses,
kor

chuva cheness

2006-03-18T23:05:00.000-08:00

anong chuva cheness?? kwento ko nalang..

alam nio ba, busog na busog ako sa kakainom ng zagu na punong puno ng sago..bloated na nga ako eh,.. ung chuva cheness na sinasabi ko d2, nakuha ko kay erika.. haha.. alam nio ba mai inassar ako na gradeschool na laging naka jacket kahit hayup na sa innit!..jabar na jabar na nga c elka eh!akalain mo, nka jacket ng shs, feeling cool and hot, pero di naman!haha.. gravve.. sharing lang..

anyhoo. nakapatay ako ng lamok ngayon.. i love it when the blood squirts out.. saya beybeh!di pangkaraniwang experience db?..achievement pareh! minsan lang ako makapatay ng lamok, madalas kc, di ko nakaka catch.. wahpackss!..naalala ko dati, nasasayahan ako sa lumilipad na ipis.. mukha xang superhero!yeh!gnian,cge isipin nio na weirdo ako,weirdo nga,bakit,may reklamo ka?.

sa sobrang pagka bagot, binasa ko ung book ni BOW este BO SANCHEZ entitled,"Thank God, He's Boss"..o diba?akalain nio, relihiyosa si Kor??hnde..wala na kc akong mgwa kahapon eh, i finished the whole book for one hour reading it without breathing and a *wink*..kaia ora mismo,tapos na..yehboi!chka i like brother Bo's stories..very fun..: )

anyow kabayow.. asar na asar ako sa lonkatuts namin!alam nio, ultimo shampoo ko, inubos nia, ung ulam ko, inubos nia, ultimo ung pH care ko!ubos din!..ateh, nilalaklak mo ba yon???!!!..

yeh..wala lang,chuva cheness ang sunday ko ngayon, as usual,boring prin..it's been a short weekend for me, my brothers are already in vacation but my kuya still goes to school for graduation paractice. ako na lang ang bukod tanging nag-aaral dito.. d bali,allowance matters..: )

cge..next time nlng pare guys!vavu!!

rush to rush

2006-03-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

buong week, wala na akong ginawa kundi matulog, magym, mag jamming.. pero hindi MAG-ARAL. iba talaga kapag responsable ka db?.. lahat ng homework mo, rush to rush.. pag may quiz, 5 minutes before.. haneppp, db?.. ganun talaga ang buhay crammer... kaia hindi ko alam kung pano ako pag third yir na.. haha..

ang cute mo, para kang ipis!

anyhoo. masasabi kong konti nalang .. 1 week nalang .. haha, pero talagang wala na.. ASANESSS KA KOR!.. magcng kna sa katotohanan.. tulog pa ata ako eh, nananaginip at nangangarap parin.. na sana ganito, sana ganyan.. pero cnu bang nabubuhay sa "SANA"?.. Kaia hnggang pictures lang ako.. guys paki gcng nga..

whenever i see you, i imagine a chewed gum stucked in the sole of my shoe..:p

ganian ang rushing.. habol pa, habol pa! hingal kna? tuloy parin ang banat.. bilis..go go!.. labo!bilisan mo na.. baka mahuli kna sa byahe...

vavu**********

solo dios basta

2006-03-16T04:05:00.000-08:00

we had our most interesting c.l. period of all time!for the first time i got excited not to study but because we will watch 'stigmata'.. it's about the five wounds of Jesus that was experienced by a woman who din't believe in God at all. It was also experienced by St. Francis of Assisi.. it was really weird and unexplainable.. that's because it's very unusual in our times today.. while watching the movie, i really thought deeply.. what if i was the girl?.. what if while i was in the tub, blood will start to burst in my head?.. I just thought of God.. I never thought in my whole life that deep.. i felt scared and i asked myself.. "am i really deserving to be loved by God?".. i did so many bad things in life that i really regret.. God was very kind to me even though I do not pray properly sometimes, not thinking i will just spend a minute, or an hour for Him.. God handles my life, but i am the one controlling it.. He gave me one chance to live that's why i want to live my life to the fullest.. i don't want to waste my time doing stupid things.. and that moment while we're watching.. i felt upset, remembering all my loved ones and those whom i hurt.. i dont want to live my life full of pride.. i realized that being proud will not do good, it will just make things worst for me.. God planned everything .. He's the director of my life.. i know He has better plans for me.. i just realized those things today.. just want to share it to you.. try to spend sometime thinking about these things , i do not care if you find it boring.. but just try .. your life will change.. i swear..: )

you don't know it. immature!

2006-03-13T02:46:00.001-08:00

una sa lahat, blog ko toh, wala kang karapatan umangal.. check it out. baka mashock ka sa mga sasabihin ko.. baka mahimatay ka pare!

we're the spy kids 2.. and beware, we'll be spying on you..hahaha**

patay kayo.. akala niyo di nila alam ung kalokohan niyong dalawa?alam ng faculty yan..yare..hihihi..kung sa bagay parehas naman kayo ng likes at wala tayong magagawa jan, kaya do what you wanna do before you and your f*** buddy be caught..wahaha..

alam mo, magkuskos ka nga ng batok mo ..yakee banakee eh, puro libag(haha,sa lahat ng mai alam tungkol sa codename na "libag", clue na yun..)

guys paki print nito ha, tas dikit natin sa likod nilang dalawa, para kakahiya sila tingnan!..hihi)

i want my electric guitar and my own drumset.

bakit ba ganito.. isang taon na ang nakalipas, wala paring nagbago sayo.. hah, cnu kb sa akala mo?.. nagpapastar kananaman kahit na stariray ka naman!.. kung bga sa iceberg, yung labas lang ang nakikita pero di nila alam lubog na yung sa loob. ano bang gusto mo sa buhay mo?. wag kang mgpakagago. alam na ng buong mundo lahat ng kasinungalingan mo. well, ok lang naman sakin kahit tawagin mo akong conservative at wala akong paki kung liberated ka. i just dont want a f*** buddy. never.. di mo ba naiisip yung kahihiyan mo? naman, pinalaki ka ng maayos, suklian mo naman.. nakakahiya ka.. kilala ka na ng mga tao, mula anit hanggang talampakan. wag mo na itago kung anong meron ka.. lahat ng bahu mo naglabasan na, para kang buni na di maalis alis sa paa. c'mon, ngdadalaga ka na, ewan ko kung dalaga ka ba,wannabe dalaga o binata??!

bakit laging nasa dulo ang taba ng barbecue?

alam mo ba, mukha kang lego, i mean kayo pala..

being truthful in your words and actions means a lot.

magtino ka naman POH.. wag ka ng pasaway POH.. tigilan mo na tong kaululan mo POH.. di ka na POH nakakatuwa POH..

be mature, grow up.

bakit 'hello' ang sinasabi sa kausap kahit galit kayo?

obviously, talagang pagpaparinig na toh.. sana tamaan ka. pag di ka pa tinamaan, mabato ka sana galing langit.. yan ay kung, may konsensya ka nga..

GO NA BILIS! IPRINT MO NA TOH TAS AWAYIN MO AKO!

DARE??

im gonna leave basketball for one year..

2006-03-11T04:00:00.000-08:00

next year, papalitan ko na ung patch ko.. hindi na xa 2,magiging 3 na!yan ay kung papasa sa 2nd year.. pero cgro naman db?.. xmpre, everyone knows na mahirap ang junior year,may nakakamatay na trigo,geom at chem.. patay ktlga dun.. lalo na kung di ka marunong magprioritize ng mga bagay2.. haha.. kaia ako, im planning to leave basketball even for a year.. dna ako mg vavarsity..lie-low muna.. iibahin ko din club ko.. dna basketball.. napagisip2 ko lang.. baka marami pang better opportunities skn na dumating kung hindi ako mag sstick sa iisang hobby.. cgro marami pa akong ma-eexplore na ibang bagay kung isasantabi ko.. pero xmpre maglalaro parin ako, pero di ko na bibigyan ng maraming atensyon.. malay ko, baka mas umayos ang buhay ko kung walang kahalong basketball.. full time dapat ako sa studies.. kc alam ko mahihirapan talaga ako.. kung ngayon nga sa 2nd yir mahirap nrin, panu pa kaia pag 3rd yir na ako.. saklap nun!, tas mawawala na ung "mga ate" ko sa 4th yir.. mamimis ko cla.. hehe.. so yun.. cgro kailangan ko mag shift ng ibang interest para naman ma build up ko ung self esteem ko chka confidence kasi dun ako kulang.. hehe.. alam ko marami pang magagawang iba jan.. baka mas masaya.. at ma discover ko na hindi lang dapat pag babasketball ang atupagin ko.. sabi nga ng iba skn,"quitting is not an option"... pero alam ko na it also depends on me kung panu ko hahanapin ung mga ibang bagay na worth gawin..;p..

cge..babu!**************

kanina...

2006-03-10T01:23:00.000-08:00

pag ako walang magawa.. xmpre, chismisan don ,chismisan dito.. katulad nalang sa JDC..(join the club).. composed of cza,me, elka, kikay, wiwi and espi.. kme ang chismisan ng bayan.. knina.. luvlyf ko ung shinare ko, may kahabaan xa.. maraming pasikot sikot.. at maraming ekek.. hehe.. c espi, kikay at elka.. super kinileg ng malupettt!!.. at nainis din sila .. hehe.. sa storya kong madamdamin.. ang luvlyf na naudlot.. haha..di ko maikakaila na talagang napaka cheezy ng mga storya ko.. sabi nga nila, pwede ko na palitan c joe d mango eh.. anyhoo. friday ngayon.. 7:15, makinig naman kayo ng lovenotes.. favorite ko kc c joe d mango eh.. haha.. going back.. sabi nga ni kikay.." kor bakit??!!!".. laking pagsisisi.. mejo nguilty din ako.. pero i realized that she's more worthy than ..hehe.. secret ko na yun.. hehe.. malupettt.. inaantok ako buong araw.. bio ung last period,eh pamatay na dalawang periods un na puro chromosomes lang pinaguusapan! di ka kaia mamatay nun?? tas mai swimming pa db?? haneppp.. ang sarap pala ng may ka kuwentuhan ka.. nalalabas mo lahat ng sama ng loob mo and at the same time, you find peace in yourself.. others can relate to you, malai mo makatulong pa ung mga nashshare mo sknla.. besides, i really find myself happy when im with my TRUE friends.. ung mga "sidekick" ko in times of sadness.. sila lang ung mga totoong nakakintindi skn.. whether mapa problem of the family, lovelyf, school ar sa friends.. haha.. i do appreciate that.. but im not planning to have a besti.. nadala na ako eh.. close friends pwede pa..sooo un.. cge,babu!

kung nakukulitan ka sakin..sori

2006-03-09T04:28:00.000-08:00

Maghanda na kayo.. mejo mushy ang ikukwento ko sa inyo ngayon.. tanong ko lang.. kahit minsan ba sa buhay mo, naka encounter ka ng taong gusto mo pero di ka niya kilala.. so ang gagawin mo.. u will try to get his/her attention, pero parang ayaw naman niya at di xa interesadong kausapin ka?.. ikukwento ko nalng.. chinat ko xa sa ym knina.. as always, ako ung nauuna mag approach kc kung hindi ko gagawin un, di naman nia ako kakausapin.. ang masama nito.. ang tipid niya magsalita. Para bang feeling ko napilitan lang xa na replayan ako just for me not to feel embarrassed or nabastos.. parang ang sungit niya, though ngttry ako mgng ok sknya kc sa ym ko lang xa nakausap at makakausap kasi never ko naman xa makakausap ng harapan at personal.. nalulungkot lang ako ngayon.. I understand na di kme magkakilala, di kme close.. pero the fact that i just want to be friends with..'youknow'.. sana naman wag niya na ipagkait yon.. Ganito pala ang feeling.. ngayon ko lang toh naramdaman.. never pa ako ang unang nag aaproach sa mga crush ko noon.. and i never felt so bad not until dumating xa.. im losing hope.. ayoko na.. sinasabi ko pamandin sa sarili ko na wag gumive up.. pero mukang ayaw talaga niya at di xa interesado.. so be it. Im not naive.. di ko din xa mapipilet.. napaka unattainnable niya.. ang layo niya.. out of reach.. so i think pag nawala xa.. im gonna start all over again finding a new inspiration.. yun lang kc ang makapagpapasaya sakin.. hmp. cge got to gow..: (

limits in life

2006-03-08T04:15:00.000-08:00

there are times wherein everything seems perfect, no worries,everyone happy.. no rejection. But I seem nostalgic by this time.. remembering those days that I had fun.. When you're overjoyed, you take things lightly, you have no hesitations, you're to naive of what's happening around you, realizing that you are exceeding too much in your limitations as persons.. when you think you're so funny but irritating to others, thinking you make them happy though their pissed. In the end, you realize you're a loser.. Some of the people starts rejecting you, pretending they're ok when you are around but at the back of ur mind.. these are all fake. You want to scream at the top of your lungs. Feeling alone, no one to cry on. Life's very threatening.. and some people does'nt realize it. Before you know it, your life is over.. you might be too happy in your life not knowing you hurt others despite of the fun it gives. Life is so short, you'll never know how it goes. So now, think of your obligations and goals.. ther's no more time to waste.. use it.. there's still a chance.. a chance for me not to take for granted my life.. There's a time to be serious, and a time to be happy.. Know your limitations, and be happy..: )

anyhoo. kor don't give up.. there's still a few days to go.. nothing is impossible..:)

ang mahal kong si bonbon

2006-03-03T02:02:00.000-08:00

c bonbon... alam nio ba kung cnu xa.. hindi xa animal, o tao. .. di nio alm un.. xa lang nman ang gitara ko.. yeboi.. tama ang dinig nio, gitara ko un.. pinangalanan ko xang bonbon.. wala lang.. saia db??... mahal na mahal ko si bonbon, pag lumilipad ako sa langit xa lang kausap ko.. kahit mai poblema ako, xa lang ang tangi kong takbuhan.. hehe.. c bonbon, mahal ko pa sa buhay ko.. minsan kc pag walang pumapansin skn, c bonbon lang ung anjan, di man nagsasalita, di kumikibo pero alam kong anjan xa.. hihi.. mukha na akong tanga kaia tapusin na natin toh.. ok na.. hehe.. love you bonbon!.. gagawin ko lahat para sayo, kahit magpakamatay pa ako para lang bigyan ka ng string!! kc wala na akong pera eh! penge namang pera para pampa restring ni bonbon.. 120 pesos lang!!! haha

yiheeee..

2006-02-27T04:19:00.000-08:00

wala lang.. ang boring ehh..*********haha

babu!

GALS 2006

2006-02-26T04:14:00.000-08:00

The GALS competition for cheering was held today in lasalle.. For me, this event was really perfect.. with Rivermaya and stuff.. i din't know that my entrance was free because im a participant that's why my 50 pesos was gone.. huhu.. anyway.. our school was the first to perform.. i was seated near the drummers that's why i can see my candy up close.. hehe.. it was one of my reasons for going there instead of going to saisaki with my family.. i was soooo ..dissapointed of the result.. we got 2nd place.. but i cannot deny that assumption's presentation was good.. but i think we did pretty well.. only that, we have no lifters.. the judges seem to blind,.. hehe.. but i think we lost because of lack of support from the school.. teachers might be there, the students and the staff but i do not refer to the physical support.. im talking about the shouldering of the expenses of the participants .. they are the ones who are making the school proud and yet the school din't even contribute anything.. even a cent.. they spent a lot.. 5000.. would you imagine spending a lot of money just for a single event of your life.. it is useless, they din't have any incentives which i think is really unfair for them.. anyhoo. we lost by .33 percent.. we are always like this.. always second.. we can't bring the bacon home..

anyhoo. finally i got to see her step mom.. i think they are in good terms now.. and im happy for her.. i saw her step brother.. he's really cute baby.. it's in the genes ehh.. sooo.. school day again.. got to go now!

Vavush!!***

it's a flyday today..

2006-02-23T22:16:00.000-08:00

pgpasok ko, antok na antok ako, i was bringing lots of things, for swimming, and for my training, sbi skn ni melai," o, kor wala daw kayong training ngayon" ..ayyy hayop! walang training???.. nagpapatawa ba kayo??.. e halos maging katulad na ko ni imang sa dami ng bitbit ko kanina, muntik na ako makuba eh.. [ pero hinding hindi ako matutulad kai "youknowwho".. nga pala, mai special note ako sayo..: isa kang BITCH!:] SORI FOR THE TERM PERO UN ANG TOTOO.. ehem.. going back, e2 naman kcng c libag, di ako cnabihan eh tinext nia na ako kahapon!.. lentek.. haayy.. tapos ngayon, walang pasok.. kaia very happy.. kaia lang nd ako makakapangispat!.. haha..GALS na!!.. alam nio ba mga guys, sinakripisyo ko ang buhay ko't kaluluwa.. this sacrifice is a choice of life and death.. kasi, sinacrifice ko ang pagsama sa SAISAKI,para kumain, tapos eat ol u can pa cla!!.. nkakadismaya, e 4 ung gals tapos 3 ung sa saisaki.. malas.. sinakripisyo ko yun para lang panoorin xa.. ganyan xa ka-special para skn.. kung alam lang niya, lahat ng kabaliwan ko na hindi ko pa ginawa sa kahit sino noon.. haha.. ok.. soo, un nga, walang pasok.. ang saia nga ehh.. sleep ol day, eat ol day, ym ol day..! odiba?? enjoy!!..

Anyhoo. ngkakagulo ang mga raliyista ngayon sa EDSA.. tapos tong c gloria, nag declare pa ng emergency chuvanessss.. wala naman akong paki tungkol don.. wla lang, msama ba mangialam???...

anyow kabayow, nabobore ako ngayon.. nothing will be sweeter than to see..you know.. it's heaven when 'you know smyls'.. haha.

im full with french fries in my stomach..

goodbye, goodnight, parting is such a sweet sorrow that i shall say goodnight..(yek kor, KORny ka tlga.. kaia pala KOR pangalan mo..haha.. bat alm ko yun..??)

VAVUUUU!!!***************************

insomya attack part II

2006-02-23T06:08:00.000-08:00

its 10:07! di pa ko 2log.. ang insomya ko.. e2 nanaman.. sugod mga kapatid nanaman!.. woi.. panu na mga guys??. eist, mai chika ako sa inio, c ano, naka onlyn kaia lang, busy xa kc ngbabasa ng EL FILI.!!.. dAmn,, panu ko toh kakausapin?? ulol.. shet.. bakit natotorps ako??.. dyahe preh!.. pare guys, next tym nlng!!..

VAVU!!..

hey secret.. dis is 4u

2006-02-21T02:52:00.000-08:00

hey..you are one lucky person. i made an entry only just for you..

this is how it goes..

Alam kong paalis kna.. di ko man nparamdam sayo na gusto kita dhil di tayo ngkakilala.. ni hindi mo nga ako tiningnan khit minsan, d ka manlang nagtaka kung sino tong babaeng umaaligid sayo lagi, sinusundan ka san ka man pumunta, nagpapapansin khit mgmukang tanga.. nanghihinayang ako, bakit kasi ngayon kpa dumating, kung kailan wala ng pagasa.. nakita mo ba ako minsan sa yong panaginip.. kung alam mo lang, lagi akong nag iilusyon, kahit di makatotohanan.. kahit kailan din, hinding hindi ka magkaka interes na basahin toh, masaya na ko na kahit isang beses, nakausap kita sa ym, kht sobrang sandali lang, halos hindi un usap kc konti lang mga nasabi mo.. pero malaman mo sana na tinreasure ko yung chance na yun.. ilang araw na lang.. ayoko na magcountdown.. kinakabahan kc ako na di na ko makahanap ng katulad mo.. panu na lang?.. for the first time, ngayon lang ako nadesperado ng ganito.. pero ito lang ang masasabi ko..

I will Miss everything about you..**********

La douleur exquise

2006-02-20T01:09:00.000-08:00

Nga pala,La Douleur Exquise..means "The exquisite of loving someone unattainable"The beauty of loving someone out of my reach. Yup, unreachable. Impossible. Pero masaya parin ako despite the fact that we cannot be "us". Haha. Hindi ako umaasa. Haha. Totoo naman eh. Kaya hanggang crush lang talaga.Nako kapag nabasa ito... tsk. Patay.